BABY BOOMER FOOT ISSUES SOLVED

image via REI.com

Do you have Baby Boomer Foot Issues?

Yesterday I jammed my pained tootsie into about twenty shoes.

The pain comes with plantar fasciitis, which is supposed to be a heel thing, but got my middle toe instead.

I blame a famous shoe brand for bending my foot the wrong direction, then myself for thinking the pain was part of the shoe breaking in process.

It wasn’t.

Now when I explain my baby boomer foot issues to the shoe salesman I ask, “Is it because I’m fat?”

They always say no, yet I sense doubt. Foot shaming? Probably not.

Starting at the Washington Square Mall I went from Dick’s to Macy’s to Footlocker to The Walking Company. If they had a shoe, I tried it on. Even the size fourteen.

The idea was finding shoes that don’t push inward, the design that created the problem.

I didn’t expect to find a $20 special on shoes anywhere but Costco, but my first idea was Big 5, which didn’t fly.

Dick’s had a huge selection of every shoe brand, just none that worked out.

The highlight of the shopping experience was looking one of the young people in the face and asking, “Where’s the Hush Puppies? See my gray hair? Shouldn’t you show me the Hush Puppies?”

After they stopped laughing they pointed to a row of tan New Balance shoes costing around $250.

“There they are.”

Which led to my question, “What do other old people buy?”

They brought out shoes the size of toaster ovens. I didn’t care. If it was the right shoe, I’d wear it.

One thing leads to another with baby boomer foot issues.

The most unusual was the salesman who showed his ankle surgery scar to prove he knew good shoes.

And he did. I just don’t want to think $300 when I look down at freaky shoes.

From standing on heat sensors to show my arch, to pushing into every conceivable shoe my size, which isn’t fourteen, I gave up.

I thought of past shoes and past shoe buying and the worst of the worst.

One time I went with a work buddy. One foot was size thirteen, the other size eight. He had polio as a child.

Once he got to the shoe store the salesman wanted to know all about it. All my buddy wanted was a size thirteen and a size eight to try on. Humor didn’t work with him and his foot disability and the sales guy found out with his first try.

Keeping it light, I explained my problem and what I figured a good solution: Show me a shoe that doesn’t bend my foot inward from the outside. Hurts like hell, and I’m not afraid to say it.

After I gave up, and my wife bought two pair of shoes, I planned on an REI run the next day.

My new shoes jumped out at the first pass. Keen Austin. And not the size of a throw pillow.

They fit, give toes room to roam, and don’t look an inch bigger than a 12 1/2.

At $110 they’re a better deal than everything else with stability control, high tech design, and speed.

Everything else showed up around $200 with add ons pushing upward.

If walking, and looking good, and defeating baby boomer foot issues is on your calendar, REI is the place.

And no, this is not a sponsored ad. I found the right shoes for the right time and I’m just ecstatic about the whole thing.