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PORTLAND FEVER CHILL TONIC

portland fever

About that pure mountain water? Image via outsideonline.com

What Would Tom McCall do about Portland Fever?

Portland, Oregon, more than a map point, destination, or cultural reference, is an infection.

And it’s spreading.

Once you catch Portland Fever, you see Portland everywhere.

Pop a craft beer in the middle of no where and it’s The Portland of No Where.

People who’ve never been to Portland get the disease and see Portland where they live.

Asheville, North Carolina is one of those cities.

They’ve got it bad, real bad.

The ‘Portland of the South’, once known as a curative clean air destination for tuberculosis, and mountain pure water, Asheville ought to be the main destination for smart, Portland-seeking, people.

Besides, if Portland Fever brings you to Portland now you’ll need a place to recover when you leave. Why not skip the middle ground and move straight to Asheville.

It’s a compelling argument:

Heavy metals, auto exhaust, and temperature inversions trap bad air in the city.

Get the right inhaler.

You won’t know how bad until the news breaks like it did in SE where residents were advised not to breath, or just use shallow breaths, and don’t eat those backyard organic veggies. Poison.

Move to Asheville instead and find that medicinal mountain air that drew thousands for their health in the last century.

After a few years in Portland you’ll need a place to catch your breath.

Testing revealed lead in the school water. Hit the link.

Maybe it’s only schools, maybe not, but why take a chance and move here when Asheville water is so clean that major breweries relocate there.

Sierra Nevada and New Belgium moved into the “Napa Valley of beer” according to an NPR story.

After drinking enough Portland beer you’ll need a good flush.

Asheville is the place.

Need more convincing? Look for PORTLAND FEVER, PT 2, coming soon.

About David Gillaspie

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