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How Do Women Change From Sugar And Spice To Demanding And Controlling?

Rock and Doris via

Ben Affleck was going the distance with Jennifer Garner. He was the right guy in Hollywood to show the rest of us how it’s done.

And she was the right girl.

My bets were down on them celebrating their tenth anniversary, their twentieth, all of them.

Instead we get divorce news. He’s been living in a hotel, or a wing of the house, somewhere other than the husband place beside his wife.

One tabloid said Garner was controlling and demanding and Ben couldn’t take it anymore.

Another called him a ’50’s dad’ with roles and duties lined up ahead of time.

It sounds like all the advances baby boomers made in gender roles passed right by Ben, but not Jennifer.

Look, who wouldn’t try for the 50’s Dad gig. The wife puts on a dress and make up and meets you at the door with a drink after a long day. She rubs your neck, hands you a newspaper, and walks you to your favorite chair before heading back to the kitchen.

Sounds pretty sweet doesn’t it?

Now add three kids. Ben comes home and the house is a mess with kid things all over. Jennifer calls him from the kitchen where she’s under the sink looking a leak. The garbage disposal shook a pipe loose grinding up lemon wedges and she want’s Ben to hook it back up.

Two steps inside the door and one of their kids clamps onto Ben’s leg. Another one waits until he passes by to jump on his back.

“Ben? Ben? Can you help me in here?”

Where’s that drink? The neck rub? The paper and the chair?

Hey Ben, it’s not the fifties. Your wife is demanding and controlling? You’ve got three kids together, brother. If she’s not demanding and controlling you might as well reserve a spot in rehab for the kids when they turn fourteen or so. Ask Drew Barrymore for advice. Get Lindsay Lohan for an update.

If your wife asks you to do something for her, don’t play the request over and over until it seems demanding and controlling. Just do it and move on. She’ll have other requests you won’t want to fulfill. Do those, too.

Marriage is answering questions unasked, even when your wife says, “Tell me what you want. I can’t read your mind.”

Of course she can read your mind, Ben. Otherwise how can she keep coming up ideas for doing things you don’t want to do?

Use the patience your stone face expression is supposed to convey. Be patient with your wife. Be patient with your kids. These are the four people who represent you to the world of married with kids people.

We all know about demanding and controlling, Ben. Those are the qualities you look for in a life partner. Sometimes you find them in the right measure, often not, and that’s where patience plays a part.

We call demanding and controlling women winners, Ben. These are the women who don’t need a man, but choose to marry anyway.

How do women change from sugar and spice to demanding and controlling? They don’t, it’s been there all the time, you just didn’t notice.

Now you do. Work with it brother, work with it.


About David Gillaspie
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