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A Gift For The Baby Boomer Smoker: Gut Punch Therapy

And It’s Not A Carton Of Marlboro Red

cigarEven a smoker smells it.

They may stink up a car with their smoky clothes and breath, but they’ll know if another smoker has been there.

Will they complain about the bad effects of second hand smoke? Of course.

Smokers come in all shapes and sizes and they use just as many excuses.

“I’m a light smoker.”

“I’m a social smoker.”

“I only smoke when I drink.”

When they say, “I only smoke cigars,” as if they get a smoking pass, you know the hook is set deep.

How do you shake that hook?

The tobacco industry has traveled the smokers’ road on both lanes. Early on, tobacco wasn’t a health risk to the medical world. Lung cancer was a rare find before cigarettes gained popularity.

Not so much after.

Today you find warnings on a pack of smokes that says, “Smoking is addictive,” or “Smoking will kill you,” or “Smoking causes lung cancer.”

Even with the pictures and ads against smoking, people still light up. You’ve seen the lady smoking through her neck stoma, or the image of the smoker’s lungs.

My favorite was a man in a hospital who had his own room where he got food, coughed half of it out of his neck hole, and sprayed the room. He was in for cancer treatment. He still enjoyed a cigarette after eating.

This wasn’t an ad, it was one of my people during my hospital career. The man lasted longer than my career.

I knew another man who spent time behind bars. He said prison therapy worked with drugs, not cigarettes.

The tobacco industry faces a worthy opponent in the stop smoking industry. You can stop smoking with pills, gum, and patches. Add hypnosis, meditation, and therapy to the list.

How important is it to stop smoking?

The Center For Disease Control (CDC) wants you to stop.

WebMD says stop with “13 Best Quit-Smoking Tips Ever.”

Not to be left out, the American Cancer Society gives a list of resources on how to stop, and why.

But it’s so hard. Just ask a smoker. 70% say they want to stop, but can’t. The other 30% are waiting to see how things turn out.

If you know a smoker who says they want to quit, who say they’ve tried everything, forward this post with this information.

One smoker who didn’t consider himself a smoker, even though he smoked every day, called all of his smoker pals on his birthday and made them an offer. Goes like this, (and it’ll work for your pals, too:)

“If you see me smoking after today, or even smell tobacco on my breath, you have my permission to sucker punch me in the gut as hard as you want.”

It’s that simple. See them smoke and give them an uppercut in the midsection. Do it hard enough to drop them, but not so hard you feel their spine on your knuckles. That’s too hard.

This is an extreme measure? Yes it is, just like lung disease is an extreme condition.

After a few rounds of gut punches from family and friends, one of two things will happen.

  • You’ll quit smoking.

Or,

  • You’ll work on stronger abs.

Smokers are not the fitness specimen they’d like to be. They say, “I’ll quit when I’m ready to get in shape,” but they mean, “I can’t quit so I’ll never get in shape.”

Gut punch therapy helps them meet their fitness goals. Once they start working the abs and notice the six pack with a new 111 showing up across their midsection, they’ll notice other body parts to improve.

Maybe they’ll lose the yellow stain on their smoking hand?

One man said he smoked seven packs a day. How? He smoked all the time, inside and out. He even smoked when he ran his seven miles. If he didn’t he’d lose too much smoking time. This is a man who needed gut punch therapy.

Take another look at the picture at the top. That’s one smoker’s inspirational image with The Last Cigar. He’s smoking at a gas station for the fear factor, then promised everyone he knows a free punch in the gut if they ever see or smell tobacco on him.

The response so far: “Can we throw tobacco on you, then punch you?”

“Can we blow smoke on you before you go home so your family can take turns punching you?”

“What’s the big deal, you don’t even smoke. I ought to punch you right now.”

The right circle of friends will save your life and you’ll have the abs you’ve always dreamed of. No one dreams of lung cancer. No one sees anyone go down with lung cancer and thinks it’s as cool as smoking.

Are you ready for the gut punch pledge? If so, drive it home by hanging a heavy boxing bag so friends and family can tune up their punching ability.

Tell them you’ll give no smoking your best shot if they promise to give theirs if you don’t.

Be ready for thanks all around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About David Gillaspie

Comments

  1. What a great post… I smoked for 25 years before quitting and I can still say it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

    It’s been several years since I quit and I still get a pang for one sometimes — but it’s very fleeting. All I can say to anyone going through this is ignore the pain and hang in there.

    It’s worth it.

    • David Gillaspie says:

      Thanks David, and good call on the pain part. If one thing hurts more than another, then the rules of priority kick in, or punch in. Maybe gut punch therapy is too much for boomers? Don’t want to pop a spleen.

      • Actually I was admiring your solution — more intense, but hopefully over with more quickly!

        Can I call you Houdini?

        • David Gillaspie says:

          Houdini sounds good. Now imagine all the fitness models with sculpted abs dangling a cigarette on their lips and a bulls-eye painted on. We’d need a soundtrack. So far only one song fits, Pat Benatar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

          • Respect: sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me

          • David Gillaspie says:

            Unlike the person who punched Houdini, who died shortly afterward, we can only whack those who ask. And they have to be caught in the act. Then it’s a sock to the old breadbasket. Boomer rules apply.

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