AUTHOR PHOTOS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS? Pt.1

Do Not Make Direct Eye Contact?

This man looks like he might be blind, which explains the eye contact part. The other part is what an author looks like from different time periods. There’s little difference in the region under a beard from any period.

If Mt. Rushmore for writers needs a model, there he is. Just don’t make eye contact.

Act like you’ve got better things to do?

From the era of dandy dress up, this writer has something better to do, like see his tailor to let out that suit.

Notice how he’s following the advice of #1 with the eye contact pose? The windows of his soul are made for better things. Get too close and he’ll deliver that cocked elbow.

Go viral. Include cats?

Not if you’ve got cat allergies. This man’s eyes look a little bleary. Get that cat away from your face.

What are the chances of the cats prowling around his typewriter. Or cats on your keyboard? If one ahchoo sends up a plume of dander the answer is easy.

Represent your co-author well?

Co-author or not, include women instead of cats. We all know cats don’t write, don’t we?

My author photo? Right here:

For this author photo I was on the Portland Max line from the airport to Beaverton. Yes, that train, the one where the free speech advocate hate talked a couple of lady passengers wearing headgear. The train where the free speech man slashed the necks and killed people who intervened.

This is the subway face that took me from Brooklyn to lower Manhattan, my bus face for the ride from NYC to PDX. It’s a face similar to other seasoned commuters. It looked different then.

This is my ‘come at me bro’ face. So far it’s worked pretty good channeling my inner Charles Bronson.

On a side note, after last year I don’t need anyone targeting my neck bone. We all have delicate parts and try to make them more durable.

The over riding plan is to keep things intact. And it starts with a sweet author expression.