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life quiz

Take a seat and dig in.

Ask your parents about these life quiz situations


Life Quiz 1

Ever made to sit at the childhood dinner table until you finished everything on your plate…or fell asleep in shame?

If a millennial asks their parents, and mom and dad say, “No, of course not. We weren’t raised in a gulag,” do a little climbing in the family tree.

Does the morbid obesity gene run in your family? Addictive behavior?

Not to say force feeding or food as punishment is a bad practice, just be aware of the possible side effects the first time you slop brown, mushy, stir fry on a pile of under cooked rice.

And wonder why no one wants seconds.


Life Quiz 2

Did the wiring harness in your high school truck ever fry and fill the cab with poison plastic smoke while driving?

You’re blinded and holding your breath and pushing the brake pedal down.

This is when the friend your parents warned you about knows exactly what to do.

They roll their passenger window down and guide you to the side of the road like a signaler for night landing jets on an air craft carrier.

You have a dead engine but they still crawl under the dash with their knife out and start cutting.

Then they hot wire your truck like a pro.

Your parents might be right, but you’re glad he’s your friend.


Life Quiz 3

Ever dated someone on acid?

You meet in the dorm cafeteria, maybe have a class together.

They’re nice, you’re nice, everybody’s nice.

It’s a ‘normal’ sort of nice.

So you agree to meet after the last day of classes and they show up more wasted than a ‘luded up Leonardo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Street.

They can walk, sort of talk, and they made it to the meeting place on time, but they keep twisting their neck like the Exorcist.

“Four hits of purple microdot is doing this, not me. But I like the spin,” they say while you watch their head turn slowly past where it should stop.

You spend the rest of their first acid trip baby sitting them on a quiet bench while their head spins one way, then the other.

Years later you meet them and they say, “I’ve always wondered who I’d be if I didn’t take all that acid.”

You check for a neck brace.


Life Quiz 4

Been bullied into a relationship?

You’re both in your mid-twenties, both working, and living together.

One of you says, “We need more room.”

“More room? That’s what you say when you want to break up. Now you want to break up? After what we’ve been through?”

“This is a small apartment. Been through what?”

“No smaller than it was six months ago when we moved in. Who else do you want move in here?”

“No one.”

“Apartments don’t get bigger or smaller, they just feel like they do with more people. It’s the girl at the bar isn’t it. I saw you flirting.”

“She looks like your mom.”

“Using her to work through a thing about my mom? I hope you tell her.”

“Tell who? I don’t have anything about your mom.”

“What’s wrong with my mom?”

“It’s getting crowded with your mom and the bar girl in here.”

“Her name’s Val.”

“Nice name.”

“Well she can’t stay here. Neither can my mom. Just you and me. You and me, right?”

“That’s us.”


Life Quiz 5

 From a buzzfeed baby boomer life quiz:

Your generation was the most selfish, entitled one in history.

It’s called the ME GENERATION for a good reason.

Your major legacy will include massive unsustainable government programs that only served your generation, horrible music, and horrendous fashion.

You can’t call out LBJ’s Great Society AND Nixon, Grand Funk Railroad AND Led Zeppelin, tight striped bell bottoms AND peasant blouses.

You will suck all government safety net programs dry while saddling the next generation with $17 trillion-plus in debt.

Go ahead and review Reagan’s regressive ’80’s, Bush borrowing to run two wars, and Trump’s travel budget.

Don’t mind us while we pick up the pieces from the economy you wrecked.

And don’t mind us while we cheer you on.

No one’s promising a juice box and a trophy just for participating, but you never know.

Enjoy comfortably retiring at the age of 65 — you’re the last generation that will ever get that.

Short reminder here: 2008 wasn’t that long ago. Baby Boomers weren’t the only one’s who got hosed, but they lost a ton of money.

Thanks a bunch.

life quiz

Always and forever

About David Gillaspie
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