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Portland Baby Boomers And The -A- Word, pt. 1


The Confusing Maze Of Suburban Jungle Levittown. Not Portland.

If you think you’re losing your short-term memory, start reading or listening to American history.

Jar yourself with the votes and repercussions that made this country great.

You get two benefits.  One, you feel patriotically renewed. Two, you have a ready answer for every question.

To the ever popular, “Where’s the remote?”

“You’ll find it in the Bill of Rights or in the couch.”

“Did you pick up after the dog?” gets the Gettysburg Address:

Four score and We have a dog?”

“Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean?” gets John Paul Jones, “I have not yet begun to run it.

Call yourself a historian. Buy a fake degree, a PhD. Go big.

That’s what your Dr. Spock-minded parents would say, at least those who read books. They didn’t want little Johnny or little Jill to throw another hissy-fit, so they caved.

It’s hard to imagine the Greatest Generation Who Won World War Two On Two Fronts getting cowed by their kids, but they did. They spared the rod.

A permissive attitude with too much money and free time ended up in sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

Does that add up to Alzheimer’s? No.

Go easy on our boomer brothers and sisters. They laid the foundations you walk on today, like  Led Zeppelin playing behind car commercials.

Without the boomers, Pat Boone might still be singing “See the USA in a Chevrolet.”

Boomerpdx Lesson: If you get lost in a familiar neighborhood, don’t panic. Retrace your steps. If you find yourself walking backwards, then panic.

Better Boomer says, when you review your life and you pass by events that didn’t turn out right, do something to make the change. Build a better memory.

About David Gillaspie
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