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Be Careful Or You Might Ride Your Boomer Bucket List Right Into A Bucket.

Have you made your bucket list, the things you want to do and see before you kick the bucket? If not, you’ve got time.

What’s the difference between a normal bucket list and a boomer bucket list? Call it age. Call it experience. Most of all, call it necessity.

The ticking clock you hear? That’s you, boomer. Ask not for whom the bell tolls.

So maybe you’ve got a boomer bucket list and your working your way through it. Or you’re just starting. Either way, you’ve got adventures ahead.

Just use good sense. Consider this from Uncle Boomer: some things don’t belong on the list. I’ve done the research do you don’t have to.

You want to ride a snow machine, a snow mobile, and go 100 mph? Okay. What does that take?

All you need is a go-fast snow machine, right? Peg the throttle and keep an eye on the speedometer. Then back it down and check another feat off your boomer bucket list before you move on.

Is it really that easy? Yes. And no.

On the run up to 100 mph you could lose your nerve and stop. No shame in that. For the hardcore bucket lister that’s not an option. It’s 100 or bust for them.

Here’s the bust part:

You’re flying across a clear meadow of fresh snow, pulling away from your riding buddy. (Always go with a buddy. The buddy system is a life saver in the water, the air, and the snow. You probably won’t drown in the snow, but you never know.)

It’s all going well until you disappear. Your buddy sees you, then he doesn’t. Alien abduction? Sink hole? Swallowed by the earth?

You vanish. The tracks you laid across the snow just stop. Riding buddy was watching, blinked, then you were gone.

It’s not the same as crossing snow machine mountain climbing off the boomer bucket list. For that one you raced up a too steep slope, stalled out at the turn, and rolled all the way back down with your machine trying to crush you.

It’s not the same as the snow machine jump you had on your list. On that one you misjudged the angle of take off on a mound. You went one way, the machine went another. After a brief flight you landed and took a short nap.

The first sound you heard on waking was a snow machine. You automatically figure it’s your snow machine trying to run you down after throwing you. In a semi-daze you roll with every quick twitch muscle in your body. On opening your eyes you see your riding buddy watching you twitch.

“You okay?”

“I think so,” you say, patting your body in search of bones sticking out.

Your snow machine is stuck in a tree well, the divot around a tree trunk that gets bigger with each passing snow storm. Riderless snow machines love tree wells.

Those feats of daring were in plain sight, just like the run to 100. Except no one disappeared in the flat white plain. No one disappears from a flat white plain, but there you are, alone.

It turns out a creek runs through the meadow and creates it’s own little canyon. It’s not grand, but it’s something you want to scout out before hitting top speed for your boomer bucket list.

You hit the century mark right about the time you launched off the creek bank, so score that one. You went airborne in the middle of the launch, skipping across the water like a stone while your snow machine buried itself nose first in the far bank.

Helmets and gloves and a thermal suit made for a good start and better finish.

Your buddy idles up while you feel your body for bones sticking out. Now you’re soaked, the sun is going down, and you’ve got miles to go before you sleep.

Since it’s your buddy’s snow machine, you’re surprised to know he’s more interested in how you’re doing than how his machine is doing.

Together you dig the thing out. The front skis curled back on impact. They look like genie slippers.

He pulls a rope out, ties on, and pulls you up the bank with his ride kicking up a rooster tail of high speed snow in your face. But you stick with it.

Part of boomer bucket list adventure is sticking with it.

In a mechanical miracle you crank the snow machine and it starts. All the pieces snap back together like it was made to crash and you race back to camp with the sort of survivor’s euphoria.

You can’t buy the feeling. It’s not one you expected, but it’s perfect.

A boomer bucket list item doesn’t need to be a near death experience, but it should be exciting.

Now what?

About David Gillaspie
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