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BOOMER SITS

HOW TO AVOID GETTING THE CHAIR WITH NO ELECTRICITY

(image courtesy uncrate.com)

(image courtesy uncrate.com)

Health experts say too much sitting is as dangerous as smoking.

Sit too long and you won’t be smoking, but you’ll feel a burn.

Boomers stuck in the sixties recall their civil disobedience, the Sit-in.

The modern descendant of the Sit-in is the Occupy Movement, though it was more of a Camp-in.

If you put your body in harm’s way because of faith in your beliefs, you pass the Boomer test.

You also pass the Gandhi test and MLK test.

Social protest means being active. For good reason you hear about the activists in movements.

They move around, they march, and so should you.

Somewhere across the decades Baby Boomers redefined non-violence as non-movement.

They took the road-block idea too far when they grew as big as road blocks.

Please don’t be offended by the size mention. I’m no tiny dancer myself.

Stay with me and try this routine once you’re on your feet.

Instead of joining a gym and dropping out, or starting a diet that lasts a week, find a partner for a different sort of workout.

Follow along and you’ll make physical as well as mental strides. No one’s promising you a Borne Identity rush, but you’ll be on the way.

Think of this as your protest against fat and age.

  • Find a partner and face each other with your hands in front of you. Bet a dollar one of you can grip both of your hands around the other’s wrist.

Repeat and keep score until you run out of money, stamina, or both.

  • After a water break, face each other again. One of you wrap your arms around the other and lock your hands. Then stand back and let your partner do the same. Bet a dollar one of you can hug the other and lock hands.

Check the time it takes to get tired. Try for ten minutes. If you run out of money, IOU’s are allowed.

  • Get a drink of water and face each other for the last time. One of you reach out and tap the other’s knee. That’s the goal, the knee tap. Now bet a dollar you can tap your partner’s knee more than they tap yours.

Try for ten minutes. Pace yourself to get there. You may not bet your car if you run out of money but still think you’re a better athlete than your partner.

If this sounds too weird, blame Portland. Keeping things weird means Portland Baby Boomers need to do their part.

Since boomerpdx fans are a curious bunch, you’re wondering what the gripping, hugging, and tapping is all about.

Brace yourselves because you’ve just finished a wrestling warm-up disguised as one part ballet, one part cage fight, and all ’round fun.

One of you will be better than the other in each event, so you’ll break even on the bets.

Schedule this workout the way you would any appointment and take it seriously enough to show up.

The soreness you’ll feel in your thighs and shoulders will go away after the first week. That means you’re getting strong again.

You’ll like feeling wrestling-strong. There’s nothing else that compares.

Once you feel unbeatable, you’ll feel unbreakable.

That’s wrestling-strong.

If you’re a former wrestler who I reminded of the fun of the sport, take a look a Restore College Wrestling in Oregon and send them a note of support.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

use song sitting on the dock of the bay

About David Gillaspie

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