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How Boomerpdx Preps For Podcasts

WHEN TIME IS ON YOUR SIDE, OR NOT

Coach Chip Kelly's East Autzen. (Image courtesy pagecovers.com)

Coach Chip Kelly’s East Autzen. (Image courtesy pagecovers.com)

If you’ve heard any radio, then you’ve heard bad radio.

The advantage of bad radio is the temporary nature.

A bad podcast has a longer shelf life, so get it right the first time.

Or second.

Or third.

My third time was as charming as it gets. Prep made the difference.

Brad Stein of The Slant on oregonsportsnews.com emailed the topics: Chip Kelly, Manti Teo, NFL playoffs, Lance Armstrong.

It turned out fun.

  • Chip Kelly: He left Oregon for Philadelphia, a city with a subway and the coolest suburbs in the nation. Will he get his own train on the Broad Street line? His own trolley to the west side of town? A statue in 30th Street Station?

If he was holding out for anything, hope it was a house on The Mainline and membership at the Merion Cricket Club.

Will he love Philadelphia? If he sticks to the Eagles, Mummers, and cheesesteaks, he’ll be fine.

The city will grow on him, but he’ll grow, too. Cheesesteaks do that.

Boomerpdx says he’ll make a valiant effort while waiting for the Patriots to invite him to guide them. He might be the coach who leads two teams to multiple Super Bowls.

  • Manti Teo: There’s a reason people call their private life private. This is the best example why. Manti doesn’t want to say “Hey, I’m an idiotic online dater and got burned, but it could have been worse.” He doesn’t want to say, “I needed something to boost my name recognition.” Now he can’t say, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

You don’t hear Tom Brady talking about his first child.

You don’t hear Peyton Manning talk about his family at all unless it’s a commercial. They know what it is to be a pro.

Manti will learn if he gets a chance. Things to talk about from now on: The blitz package. Pass coverage. Offensive linemen who hold. Both teams playing hard. Ball don’t lie.

Keep it simple, Manti. We already know too much.

  • NFL Conference Finals: Grown men play a kid’s game with so much energy that the solar, wind, and wave power stations take notes. Ray Lewis is done after the next loss. He has nothing to lose, like a senior in high school or college in their last game. If he wasn’t the most dangerous athlete to ever play the game, he is now. What’s he got to lose? The regained legacy that slipped away and came back.

What have fans got to gain from Ray? After this year we’ll never see him do his pregame dance. Never see him give his death stare. Never hear him woofing in the huddle.

If he makes a network crew breaking down games he can still frighten the staff.

He can go one on one with Keyshawn, or make Boomer Esiason glad he got out of the game before Ray.

Ditka will love him, Coach Spitter Cowher will go dry mouth, and James Brown will make extra time.

The first thing Ray ought to do when he takes a broadcasting job is tell us what he’d do if he was in Manti Teo’s cleats.

Better yet, sit them back to back and see if Ray and Manti can do one of those data transfers you see from the Samsung Galaxy.

Ray is good for football. Play like Ray, or don’t play at all.

What about the actual games? It’s Ray’s day, don’t get in the way.

  • Lance Armstrong: He cheated, but did he cheat you? Oprah knows cheaters. She heard James Frey talk about his drug-life from his book A Million Little pieces. When she found out he was a liar, she invited him back and roasted him. She knows reluctant authors like Jonathan Franzen who declined her book club the first time saying it might alienate his male readers. He didn’t make the same mistake twice.

Lance talked to Oprah, but was it enough? Until he gets his Olympic medals and Tour championships returned, he ought to keep apologizing.

Or take it further and probe Lance about any possible connection to BALCO and The Clear. No one says he and Barry Bonds met for therapeutic backrubs in San Francisco, but the timeframe works.

From the BBC: “Three former cycling team doctors, Dr. Luis del Moral, Dr. Pedro Celaya and Dr. Michele Ferrari are charged with possession, trafficking and the administration of doping materials and methods.” Dr. Lamborghini says take two aspirin and call in the morning just to be on the safe side.

Is Lance sorry enough? Marion Jones was more emotional when she turned herself in. Jimmy Swaggart knew the drill.

There’s more work to get done, Lance. The worst thing you do is cheat, then say you didn’t. Or lie and call it the truth. It worked until it didn’t.

Baby boomers have heard more than enough to question everything and still keep the faith.

Elton John gave us Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters in 1972 with the line “They know not if it’s dark outside or light,” but we still stick our heads out the window and take a look.

So should you.

About David Gillaspie
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