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MAN ANTHEM FOR MODERN TIMES

man anthem

President Trump and his cabinet discussing policy. Image via www.theatlantic.com

Every era has a song. This era needs a Man Anthem.

This Man Anthem is inspired by Barney the Purple Dinosauer and the Republican National Convention.

The epicenter of male testosterone in America is Cleveland, Ohio.

As if to prove it, Candidate Trump took the stage the way Mr. McMahon takes to the ring.

Into that maelstrom goes Donald Trump’s wife with the sort of flashing eyes seldom seen since Fatal Attraction.

Whether she used Michelle Obama’s husband talk from 2008 or not doesn’t take anything away from the message.

All men wish their wives said what Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Trump said about their husbands.

Here’s why they don’t:

If you’re the man and you know it clap your hands,
if you’re the man and you know it clap your hands.
If you’re the man and you know it strap an AK-47 to show it,
if you’re the man and you know it clap your hands.

If you’re the man and you know it stomp your feet,
if you’re the man and you know it stomp your feet.
If you’re the man and you know it drive a lifted Chevy 4X4 to show it,
if you’re the man and you know it stomp your feet.

If you’re the man and you know it shout Make America Great Again,
if you’re the man and you know it shout Make America Great Again.
If you’re the man and you know, then you ought to know you’re part of what took America’s greatness,
If you’re the man and you know it shout Hurray.

If you’re the man and you know it love your wife,
if you’re the man and you know it love your wife.
If you’re the man and you know it, your wife shouldn’t look like a poster model for emotional abuse,
if you’re the man and you know it love your wife.

If you’re the man and you know it do all four,
if you’re the man and you know it do all four.
If you’re the man and you know it screaming hateful shit’s no way to show it,
If you’re the man and you know it do all four.

If you’re the man and you know it lend a hand,
if you’re the man and you know it bend a knee.
If you’re the man and you know it do the right thing even when no one’s looking,
if you’re the man and you know it try and make the rest of us dipsticks look good.

There’s room for more Man Anthem lyrics in comments if you’re feeling it.

About David Gillaspie
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