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Miley Cyrus vs Bad Baby Boomer

Possessed By Voodoo?

Possessed By Voodoo?

After every decent woman had her say, after every fluffy-haired television man complains, where is Miley Cyrus?

She’s not checked into re-hab, the psych ward, or working on a Nevada ranch.

Is she in New Orleans drinking chicken blood in voodoo classes? No.

She’s probably working on her next performance. She probably took the horns out of her devilish hair-do, too.

You’ve read about her VMA performance in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Washington Post. Her mis-deeds listed on Salon, Slate, and the Huffington Post. Now you need to make a choice.

This baby boomer blogger is here to help with a list from Would You Rather.

It goes like this:

  • Would you rather see MC ripping off a tacky stage outfit, or Marilyn Monroe when her dress blew up.

(Male-legend has it Marilyn didn’t wear undies and the subway wind that blew her dress up was a surprise. She was asked to do more takes, so she bought a pair of shorts. Her husband at the time, Joe DiMaggio, said if she did the shot again their marriage was over. The rest is history.)

  • Would you rather see MC blast around the stage like a nut case, or Madonna’s SEX book in an aluminum cover?

(One was on television, the other so disturbing you had to ask to see it if you wanted to buy it.)

  • Would you rather hear about MC’s dating life, or Madonna dating Dennis Rodman?

(‘Neither’ is not a choice.)

  • Would you rather see MC paw herself with a foam finger, or Michael Jackson arrange his package?

(Different generation, but the same area.)

  • Would you rather see MC adapt aspects of black culture, or Michael Jackson turn pale?

(I know, it was a disease, right?)

  • Would you rather see MC stomp around out of control, or Brittany Spears precise choreography?

(You too could twerk, but dance like the Mouseketeer? Don’t try.)

  • Would you rather see MC let it all hang out, or Jim Morrison whip it out?

(Only one gets the police attention.)

  • Would you rather hear MC get censored for a Molly reference, or coked up rockers sing Cocaine?

(You only know the difference after the OD hospital tape.)

  • Would you rather see MC grind on Robin Thicke, or Mick Jagger ride the penis balloon?

(It’s only rock and roll, but we like it, right boomer?)

  • Would you rather watch MC motorboat a dancer with a walk off slap, or Robert Palmer ooze around a gang of models?

(Show biz.)

  • Would you rather see the MC tongue hanging out, or Michael Jordan’s?

(Only one has a threat of biting it off.)

  • Would you rather see MC gyrate in a swimsuit, or 300lb Elvis sweat and bump in a cape?

(Hunkahunk of burning love.)

Sure, Miley the VMA twerker hit it hard, but isn’t that the idea?

She showed up in Brooklyn.

About David Gillaspie
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