PEER PRESSURE WITH A PUSH IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

Peer pressure works unless you’re so special that you have no peers to pressure you into doing things.

Are you ‘Peerless?’ If you are, congratulations. Tell your mom hello from the rest of us, superstar.

We like to think we’re special, unique, without peers, but how can that even be possible?

It’s not. Even the highest flyer comes to ground eventually, and it’s never a pretty sight.

Their landing is cushioned by stacks of selfishness and ignorance suddenly pulled away by an awkward reality.

It’s a hard landing. Then what?

Self reflection is most difficult when more than enough evidence reveals the big problem, and it’s you.

How can you be a problem when you’ve never been a problem? Too often we don’t see a picture of the big problem and put ourselves in it. Why would we if we’re without peer?

“It’s not my problem,” gets corrected to, “It might be a problem,” and eventually to, “I’m sorry I screwed up.”

Three steps to self awareness doesn’t stop there, but it is a good start.

Peer Pressure Timing

A married woman took a call from an old boyfriend traveling through town.

She was happy to hear from him and told her husband about their plan to ‘catch up.’

He didn’t agree that it was a good idea.

“Do this and you’ll ruin any good memories you had with him. Remember the Bruce Springsteen concert? You were so disappointed that you stopped listening to him. This date will be the same thing.”

“Except it’s not a date.”

“Well, that’s different. You’ll meet, maybe have a bite to eat, maybe a drink to toast old times?”

“That would be nice.”

“It’s a date.”

“Are you okay with it?”

“Am I okay with a married woman going on a date with a three-times divorced loser she knew freshman year in college when saving the world seemed like an easy thing? Call some of your divorced friends for advice. I’d like to know what they think?

“My friends would say ‘go for it.'”

“And that’s why they’re divorced.”

“That’s not nice.”

“I’m not the one calling out of the blue for a last chance booty call to rekindle lost love.”

“That’s what you think this is about?”

“I don’t know, but do you see my phone laying there? Go ahead and check the texts. Check my contacts, my email, my messages. Go ahead.”

“Why?”

“Because you can. It’s an open book. Some married people are like that. Other’s keep their side hustle hidden right until they’re found out.”

“He’s not like that.”

“How do you know? You didn’t marry him. Check with his ex-wife crew and they might have a different opinion.”

Positive Peers To Watch For

Do you know people who never make mistakes? Do you hold them in high esteem?

Are they also boring as hell?

That surface perfection is their mask, the one they use to face the world.

It’s the, “Everything is fine,” face.

If you knew them better they’d show a different face, one you don’t want to see.

They’d show their ‘help me’ face, their needy face, the face few are privileged to see, because everything is fine. Really.

If you’ve never seen those faces on your friends, it’s because they don’t consider you as a peer.

With friends like that you’ll never have to worry about peer pressure.

A shallow surface does that. And it’s sad.

Instead, seek people who challenge themselves and you. Find people who seek adventure, who understand the difference between adventures and ordeals.

Their peer pressure might make you a better person, and your shared ideas might help others.

I like to call this, “Engaging In Life.”

What would you call it?