You Know You’ve Arrived When:
A string of parades hit town recently.
The big three were the Starlight, the Rose, and the Pride Parade.
Each one has it’s Portland vibe.
If you park near a church before the Pride Parade and lightning does’t strike you, do you feel,
B. Like a sinner?
C. Glad to find a spot?
When you walk past the remains of last night’s party, do you wonder,
A. How the Portland gay community got their own vodka?
B. Why the fence me in party border?
C. How to organize your next block party?
You see Army trucks in the parade and think,
A. Be all you can be?
B. Army proud, Army strong?
C. Was don’t ask, don’t tell a real policy?
When you see a Multnomah County Sherriff’s presence, you think,
A. Equal rights, equal protection?
B. Being gay isn’t against the law?
C. Is this part of their job?
When you see the balloon rainbow, do you wonder,
A. Is that the finish line for the Tour de France?
B. Are those helium filled?
C. Where can I find one of those for my next backyard party?
When Portland City Commissioner Dan Saltzman parades past, do you wonder,
A. How many Pride Parades he’s walked in?
B. Did he just get out of church?
C. Who does his hair?
When U.S. Representative Earl Blumenauer parades past, do you think,
A. Where’s the snappy suit and bow tie, Earl?
B. Dude, it’s a parade, not mowing the grass in black socks.
C. I’m glad Earl took the time to show up?
When Portland Mayor Charlie Hales parades past, do you think,
A. Mayor of the people, for the people?
B. Perfect Portland style?
C. This is one lively politician?
Near parade’s end, do you,
A. Wonder who’d show up at your group’s parade?
B. Think this is the best parade of the year?
C. Feel glad to live where you can watch a parade without a skirmish line.
Choose you best answers. Leave comments. Plan on attending all the parades next year.
Portland baby boomers have it all if they go out and join in.