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social filter

Image via Wall Haven

You need a social filter or firewall when you get the finger?


In some circles flipping the middle finger, flying the bird, is just another form of non-verbal communication.

Someone hears, “Blah, blah, blah blah blah,” and raises that finger in response.

How to respond to a silent signal in public without conflict?

That’s a question many ask after the fighting stops.

“A woman flipped me off in public.”

“Maybe she was gesturing to someone behind you.”

“Maybe, but after I looked and shrugged my shoulders, she did it again.”

“There’s more to this than you’re telling.”

“Not much.”

“You except us to believe some random person just up and flipped you the bird?”

“Just saying what happened.”

“And you didn’t do anything to deserve it?”

“Nope, not a thing. At least not that day.”

“So this is a continuity?”

“I helped her once and it didn’t go the way I expected.”

“Then she flipped you off?”

“No, she demanded an apology.”

“Did you give one?”

“If you’re married, you’ll understand. I apologize all the time. My apologies are booked until 2019, but I did give one.”

“You apologized.”

“Yes, along with a band aid in case they got butt hurt in the future.”

“That’s not an apology.”

“It wasn’t a apology offense, either.”

“That’s what you say. Maybe you need a better social filter on your actions?”

“I should aim for more transparency?”

“That’s the idea. I was just thinking the same thing.”

“Social filter and transparent both seem like formulas for better communication.”

“You’re starting to understand.”

“I need a better social filter.”

“You might need something more, like a firewall.”

“That sounds big.”

“People without an adequate filter come off stunned by responses to them.”

“Stunned feels like this.”

“Until you understand your own responsibility in the action.”

“So they’re the victim. But I can’t return the favor and flip them off.”

“Sure you can, if you’re not sexist.”

“Or they have a husband who shows up with a nasty attitude.”

“Again, a sexist.”

“More of a ‘safe-ist.'”

About David Gillaspie
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