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We didn’t start the fire? Maybe, but ticking baby boomers sure throw on the logs.

A recent statement about relationships explains how you should never let others know what makes you tick.

Why? If they know how you tick, they’ll wind you up on their schedule.

Sounds stressful, like a hidden life with those who care about you.

The ticking baby boomers are not a bomb. Let’s clear that up. Everyone else thinks we’re the bomb, but not that sort of bomb.

Instead, we just tick, tick, tick, and it’s getting louder and louder.

So what’s all the ticking?

For some it’s mortality. They hear the ticking loudest and want to cram as much living as they can into the years left.

Maybe they were too busy to have get married and have kids, so they go all out to save the world they never knew.

Maybe they did get married and have kids, but were too busy to spend any time with them. Now they go all out to show they don’t remember being absent.

Or maybe it’s not that complicated. We live, we die, and we hear that damn ticking.

Do you hear it? No? Turn up your hearing aid.

You do hear it and you can’t stop looking for the source?

Check your guilty conscious first. Take a look inside before you look outside.

The ticking is what others, like Generation Hipster and Millennials, say they hear when they think about ticking baby boomers.

Their clock ticks too, and whether they know it or not, they’re not getting any younger. They want what boomers have.

These ticking baby boomers still dance to their own beat, shuffle to their own rhythms. That’s not going to change, and it shouldn’t.

For all the noise from younger generations, they still follow the boomer lead.

Why does so much music sound like Classic Rock? Well, it’s either Classic Rock, or a knock off. Once the sound of the sixties and seventies played out, new groups picked it up.

Some bands like the Rolling Stones never played out, but other still hooked up to their vibe.

Only steal from the best is the golden rule of theft.

The ticking baby boomers in their workout gear and yoga pants are still a potent force. They helped produce the new boom in millennials, and they’ll play an important part in American public life during an election year.

From the looks of history, ticking baby boomers were right on time hating President Nixon and his gang.

They protested, rioted, had teach-ins, sit-ins, cooked macro-biotic, saved the world on Earth Day, stopped the Vietnam War, and didn’t trust anyone over thirty.


Trump’s message is a call to 1950s American greatness and a simmering, mad-as-hell populism that blames Chinese imports, freeloading Saudis and Mexican immigrants (and Mexico) for the nation’s ills. It appeals to a vein of the U.S. electorate that will remain a significant voting bloc for several election cycles to come: older whites. Trump calls his supporters the “silent majority,” the same name Richard Nixon used to marshal support from a white, middle-class, middle-aged population that felt underappreciated and feared the dramatic social change wrought by activist, antiwar youths and the civil rights movement.

Is everyone over thirty? Who do you trust now?

Portland baby boomers are no different than the rest. Portland boomers, for all of press Portland attracts, will find excuses to vote for someone they would have hated as young people.

Show the youth in America how far we’ve come and throw in with your best Presidential candidate from the candidates’ debate.

Will it be a histrionic schlong master spitting out the sort of bile that would have turned a hippie’s stomach? A histrionic old man spitting out the sort of history lesson America hasn’t heard enough of?

Or will it be a life long politician who already knows when to hold ’em, and when to fold ’em.

Do your generation proud, ticking baby boomers, and make 2016 the one to remember. Make it one you’ll remember on the way out the door.

“But we’re not leaving,” you say?

The clock says something different.



About David Gillaspie
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