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What To Trust, Boomer Nostalgia Or Boomer Reality

via usatoday.com

via usatoday.com

There’s a list of golden memories that show up online more often than it should.

It’s supposed to invoke a better time for baby boomers, but for the wrong reasons.

Boomerpdx finally sets it straight.

  • IF YOU WERE RAISED ON HEE HAW…

No one was raised on Hee Haw any more than Duck Dynasty raises anyone. Hee Haw was Must-See-TV for eighth graders in 1969 because it showcased Playboy Bunnies. Laugh-In topped out with Goldie Hawn.

  • HAD A CRUSH ON ANY OF THE DUKES…

The Dukes? The biggest crush on Dukes of Hazzard was General Lee. Who didn’t dream of a car that did everything it did and kept running.

  • ONLY WATCHED CARTOONS ON SATURDAY MORNING…

This one disrespects Popeye on the after school nautical themed shows from the local Cap’n Johnny to the big timer Captain Shipwreck, then Ramblin’ Rod. Saturday mornings were great, but don’t forget the Sailor Man.

  • PLAYED IN THE DIRT…

Also known as the backyard. When the old man covered it in fresh chicken manure we found a new play spot across the street. It was a sand dune.

  • GOT YOUR BUTT WHIPPED WITH A BELT OR HAD TO PICK YOUR OWN SWITCH…

Or shoe, or extension cord, or coat hanger. Punishment came in many varieties, which you might expect with kids who shot up the house and little brother with a BB gun, broke the front room picture window by banging on it to make it sound like thunder, or had a klepto in the family who always got caught.

  • HAD A ROTARY PHONE

There was no other phone, and it had a party line.

  • HAD 3 TV CHANNELS…

We had two, one for Cap’n Johnny, one for Captain Shipwreck, and a black and white TV.

  • SCHOOL STARTED WITH THE “PLEDGE”…

And it wasn’t a matter of choice. Show up, stand up, say the Pledge of Allegiance with your hand over your heart. No exceptions.

  • HAD A BEDTIME…

If you had a brother with a radio as a roommate, bedtime meant something different than clock time.

  • RODE IN BACK OF PICKUP TRUCKS…

Kids and dogs in the back.

  • RECORDED THE TOP 40 FROM RADIO ON CASSETTE TAPES…

Way too technical. Just buy a 45 and spin it until the needle wears out.

  • PLAYED IN THE CREEK

Then noticed the flies around the cows playing in the creek upstream.

  • RODE YOUR BIKE ALL DAY WITHOUT A HELMET…

Those were days before the X-Games. Hopping a curb was the biggest death defying stunt. And riding a wheelie.

What are your boomer memories and realities?

 

 

 

 

 

About David Gillaspie

Comments

  1. Heh heh Hee Haw for me meant quality time with my dad…… now it’s revealed why! He is BUSTED. Wait. THEY were busted, or…. never mind.

    • David Gillaspie says:

      A little something for everyone on Hee Haw. Watching Roy Clark play so many instruments so well made it look he could pick a song on shoe strings and get a crowd dancing.

      These lists get into the times, but why not pull the curtains back a little for a better look? That’s the beauty of a shared history, you can’t go wrong but if you do a fixer will catch it.

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