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Your Chiseled Core

or, You Haven’t Seen The Sights In A While?

(image courtesy

(image courtesy

Maybe it’s a boomer thing, or a Portland baby boomer thing, but middle aged men with abs seems a little too much.

True story: I’m sitting in the sauna and a guy walks in behind his chiseled abs.

He’s no boomer, so his shorts droop.

With no shirt, he shows he’s a shaver. Since his shorts droop, you can see he’s had a problem that he solved with a Band-Aid.

Like the ladies in their teeny bikinis, this guy drooped his drawers way down.¬†And a Band-Aid. There’s a lesson in there.

Hey Boomer, if you have chiseled abs, keep them in your shirt. Unless you’re swimming.

If you’ve got a pelt covering those chiseled abs, don’t shave unless you ride a road bike and shave your legs to avoid an infected road rash.

Otherwise, don’t shave.

Leave the man-scaping to the twenty-somethings. They’ll get tired of it just like you did before you got your second wind.

Whether the ladies love the hairy man or not, a five o’clock shadow on your gut works for no one.

Speaking of that gut? If it sticks out too far, reel it in. If your belt is more gut support than trouser keeper, reel it in.

The older the boomer, the more likely their skin looses its elasticity. If you drop weight fast and build those abs, they’ll be hiding behind the same apron of skin pregnant women have after delivering their baby.

It’ll go away eventually, one way or another, so be patient.

Remember the words of the ab-man: a good core starts in the kitchen, not on the sit-up rack.

Anything headed the direction of a better core is good for your boomer fitness level.

You’re moving the pile.



About David Gillaspie


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