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your age

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Your age is no secret, except to you.


People who say age is just a number do it for a reason: they are old, not your youthful age.

They make it worse when they say hair dye doesn’t change how others see them, but how they see themselves.

Old guy selfie problem?

If that was true they’d stop using Just For Men, or Kiwi Boot Polish, and get with Clairol.

No matter the view, a man old enough to date someone his kids’ age, whether he has kids or not, needs to take a better look.

If they don’t see Hugh Hefner looking back, stay away from the daughter/granddaughter aged dating pool.

Mr. Hefner carries a ‘get out of jail’ card. He invented the Playboy empire, and by most reports just a little creepy on a round bed.

If you date granddaughter-aged women, whether you have granddaughters or not, you get the ‘weirdo card.’

You’re not helping your date’s future, either. And you’re not showing your age well.

It doesn’t take an informatician to calculate what you lose with poor dating choices. The first loss is trust.

Those who know your date schedule don’t appreciate you looking at their trophy wives, daughters, granddaughters, or their friends.

Which means all your friends find you suspect.

How suspect?

Say you’re a creeper and belong to a gym. A gym creeper.

There’s a woman there, a young woman you want to spend more time with.

Standing over her while she finishes her last set of bench press isn’t long enough.

You joke with her, laugh with her, but fail to notice she isn’t listening or laughing.

Instead she walks over to another man and points you out.

What to do? Act your age.


Don’t do this:

A woman told me a man old enough to be her father, older than her father, kept asking her out. She didn’t like the attention. After she pointed him out, I made a plan.

Nothing special, just the usual ‘what’s up’ sort of plan.

I didn’t tell the woman my plan, and should have.

I planned to accidentally bump the guy and apologize. It happens. Then I planned on bumping him again and apologizing.


The big plan was to bump him often enough to get him to ask why we keep bumping into each other, to which I planned to say:

“It must be an accident, like you pestering women who say stop.”

The plan failed miserably when gym rat romancer bumped me first.

He asked what I was doing talking to ‘his girl.’

What? His girl didn’t know this.

Before I could regroup and execute my revised plan, the woman appeared and asked what I was doing.

Both of them stood in front of me waiting for an answer.

I told them I was working out, just like them, and excused myself to find something to push or pull on the other side of the gym.

The woman stayed and chatted with the older guy.

Act your age and win?


I didn’t see a threat, only two people having an animated conversation, until the woman caught up with me.

What was I trying to prove? I explained my bump plan.

She explained that she didn’t need anyone standing up for her.

My quick event review popped into gear: She said she had a problem. I had a solution.

Now I’m the bad guy?

I did the quick review out loud.

She said she didn’t ask me for help.

I said she didn’t need to ask.

Then I told her what she needed to do:

“You can take care of yourself. I can see that. Now I can see that. The way you’re dealing with my plan it’s clear you can handle your own affairs. That’s good.

“But what if this is a guy who plays the odds, who keeps hitting on young women until one says “yes, I’d love to go to lunch, coffee, drinks, love to get in your car.”

“What if the guy runs through fifty approaches for one yes, and that girl gets trapped?

“Maybe the guy is okay, maybe not. You didn’t think so, but now he’s okay and I’m not? Maybe you ought to look out for that girl who isn’t as sure of herself, as confident or experienced dealing with creeps. That guy gave you the creeps because he’s a creep. Maybe creepier than you know.”

Keep explaining from your age and experience.

“Instead of buddying up with him, why not give him your impression of his act? Tell him he’s swimming in the wrong pool. Tell him if you see him make another woman as uncomfortable as he’s made you, you’ll come after him? Do that and maybe you keep another woman from getting in over her head. Women helping women, then I don’t have to.

“You know your way around? He’s knows his tricks inside and out. If you save a woman from spending time with a guy who doesn’t understand the idea of boundaries, you’re helping all women. Call that guy on his forward behavior and he’ll have to try something less threatening.

“If you don’t do anything when you know something is wrong, isn’t it the same as being wrong? If you’re strong enough to help another woman, you should. You pointed him out, now it’s your turn. Go over there and tell him. Put him in his place. There he is. Walk on over.”

She walked, all right.  She walked out of the gym and never came back.

About David Gillaspie
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