A ‘CERTAIN AGE’ FOR CHANGE?

What does a ‘certain age’ mean?

If we all understand numbers, why not use a number?

Because of the controversy.

But don’t worry, I’ve cracked the ‘certain age’ code.

It started with a Huffington Post article on what age to stop drinking booze.

The consumption of alcohol holds significant health risks and no benefits for young people, according to a major new study. However, there may be perks for older adults in drinking a small amount, found the researchers from the Global Burden of Diseases, based at the University of Washington in Seattle.

“While it may not be realistic to think young adults will abstain from drinking, we do think it’s important to communicate the latest evidence so that everyone can make informed decisions about their health.” 

This fits nicely into most every other health warning from the air we breath to the water we drink.

And like every other health warning, we ignore them until we get tagged.

Besides, why would Portland take any advice from Seattle?

To cut the mumbo jumbo about making informed decisions about drinking and health, I’m going to the Mayo Clinic, not the Global Burden of Diseases.

Excessive drinking can increase your risk of serious health problems, including:

• Certain cancers, including breast cancer and cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus and liver
• Pancreatitis
• Sudden death if you already have cardiovascular disease
• Heart muscle damage (alcoholic cardiomyopathy) leading to heart failure
• Stroke
• High blood pressure
• Liver disease
• Suicide
• Accidental serious injury or death
• Brain damage and other problems in an unborn child
• Alcohol withdrawal syndrome

Answering Questions About A Certain Age

I write about beer on this blog. Why? Because I’m a beer fan.

I’ve even home brewed a few batches.

Ask me about cancer. I’m not a fan.

Alcohol is linked to cancer, but not the one that sent me in for the cure.

It’s also linked to heart problems, just not the one that sent me in for ‘observation’ in the ICU.

I’ll take cancer questions and heart questions, and go from there.

I’m not a cancer fan, or a heart issue fan, but I am a fan of life.

If you have a life question, I’m ready.

Since we’re talking about a certain age, I’ll start.

What do you do when your girlfriend breaks up with you at the end of high school?

After she dumps you for a scrappy little guy, what’s your next move? You’d make plans together to go to the same college. You had plans to walk together in the graduation ceremony.

Now what?

Now what nothing. You wish them well and do the graduation walk the day after they married their new guy.

You don’t like the idea, don’t want to do it, but you do it anyway. Then you realize you just turned into a man.

If she gives you a graduation gift of a dozen rainbow condoms, hand them out to the twelve student-scholar guys who made the all-star list each month of senior year.

You’re welcome.

Don’t get someone to buy a fifth of cheap vodka and chase it with unsweetened orange juice in a can until you puke your woes away. Save that one for more important events, like losing a wrestling tournament in Coos Bay to a Marshfield Pirate.

Hey, Ronny.

A Drink To Good Health

Last word from the Mayo Clinic:

If you don’t drink alcohol, don’t start because of potential health benefits. However, if you drink a light to moderate amount and you’re healthy, you can probably continue as long as you drink responsibly. Be sure to check with your doctor about what’s right for your health and safety.

Also check your surroundings.

Do you spend time in bar full of chunky day drinkers staring at their phones and swilling craft beer?

Have you spent an afternoon in a backyard with dogs, kids, and a cooler full of iced beer?

Is a hot day, a high lawn, and a pan full of chicken marinating for the grill a reason to drink beer?

How you answer these questions will tell you if you need to slow down.

Better yet, skip the answers and just slow down some.

On this blog you won’t get shamed, taken to the woodshed, or encouraged to make unreasonable promises.

You can slow down some, can’t you?

A certain age knows the right answer.