Help millennials avoid bad marriages by following these steps
Dating mores change over the years.
From meeting someone, meeting their parents and siblings, to marriage and living happily ever after, things change.
You meet their parents, they meet your parents. What could go wrong?
These meetings always have agendas, some hidden, some not.
Most often you go in hoping for the best if you come from a family with some degree of stability.
Don’t expect that of others.
If you never get to the ‘meet the parents’ stage, consider it a blessing.
Like going to college and leaving without a diploma, a relationship that doesn’t include meeting parents means you dropped out.
Good job. Not the college part though. If you start you should finish, regardless of what Bill Gates and Steve Jobs say.
Besides, they dropped out of good schools, not Portland State.
Dropping out isn’t the end of the world in either case. Drop out of college means you can return; dropping out of a relationship? Keep moving.
Warning signs of impending bad marriages
1. You have a dinner date to meet the parents at their house.
Just inside the front door you see a beautiful room to the right with everything in place. It’s color coordinated to pristine white carpet.
A closer look shows all the furniture covered in plastic.
You may make it to that room, but probably not.
Instead, you’re guided to the left and into a room full of broken down couches and cats. Maybe a few dogs. It hasn’t seen a vacuum all year.
This is the real room, where your darling grew up.
The other room is for special guests, people who know how to keep their feet clean and their drinks in the glass.
As an untested newcomer you haven’t earned the right.
The nice room is momma’s trophy room and you’re not a trophy catch.
You won’t meet the father in this house. He wasn’t a trophy either and lives alone in a divorce cave.
2. Meeting the siblings.
If you’re a guy and your serious girlfriend has younger sisters, beware.
This is where you learn about family dynamics.
If big sister ever stole little sisters boyfriend, or the other way around, you’ll be a target.
You’ll be built up and torn down faster than a sandcastle at low tide.
Little sister tells you big sister’s dating history and it doesn’t match what you already know?
Big sister tells you little sister’s medical history in more detail than any doctor?
Neither is anything you want to hear, but still not as bad if there’s a brother.
His mission is to break you like an Army Drill Sergeant. That’s how they welcome new people to the family.
3. The aftermath of meeting the family.
If all goes well, and it won’t at first, you decide to move forward.
Avoid bad marriages by not living together too soon.
Living together means you’re a live-in.
Worse, your own mom may refer to your future bride as your Live-In when introducing them.
“And this is Jimmy’s current live-in.”
You don’t need to move in together to learn more about each other.
All you need to know is if you both share the same interests in personal hygiene, tidy living space, and drive to succeed.
Clean laundry, an organized household, dedication to learning and earning is the starting point.
Baby boomers know all about divorce statistics.
So do their parents.
Millennials can avoid bad marriages by doing their homework.
There’s no book of rules to follow, just use good sense.
Be prepared for changes and adapt.
A good marriage is an experience you won’t find anywhere except between you two.