BABY LOVE: HOW TO SURVIVE THE OUTCOME WITH A SONG

Baby love isn’t about babies, it’s about the first time we feel something about another person.

What was ‘that something?’

Baby love, because from a distance, a fourteen year old or fifteen year old is a baby. Big, but still a baby fifty years later. Maybe fifty-one.

Was it a special teacher that kindled those feelings? An older brother’s girlfriend? Someone in the neighborhood?

Let’s sort things out.

Did you have attractive teachers? Mine were middle-aged at best from the start, teetering on grandma-aged. Nice ladies, good teachers, but not the smoldering hotties to ignite the fires of adolescent boys.

Things didn’t improve when some lady teachers accompanied their students on swim day in their swimsuits.

They did a fine job of lifeguarding their students from drowning, but also revealed a glimpse of the future.

My personal takeaway, after learning how to swim, was finding out what the heck happened between the girls my age and women like the teachers.

It was a mystery with one answer: TIME

The age difference between teachers and students was at least thirty years.

The teachers were parent-aged, and therefore out of the conversation. No one wanted to hear:

“Miss Olson is looking good today.”

“She looks like your mom, you sicko.”

The only solution for younger boys waking up to the beauty around them was high school girls. Cheerleaders in particular.

My junior high school was situated near the high school with a football field in between. The high school basketball team even played in the junior high gym. My friends and I were all football and basketball players back then and going to games was essential to becoming better players.

The sports development also included varsity cheerleaders ranging from 17 to 18 years old. It was a mystery where they came from, but the message was clear: play sports as 12 to 13 year olds and look forward to a bright future.

Imagine the surprise when the girls in my class rounded into shape five years later. So that’s where they come from? Big girls start as little girls? Who knew?

Baby Love On A First Date

It started with being driven by parents to the Port Theater in North Bend, Oregon and dropped off with a promise of getting picked up after the show. Right after the show was over.

The real show was the older kids all sitting together down front. In the dark. What was that all about? Mysterious.

But they weren’t part of the program I was coached up for.

“Mind your manners.”

“Be polite.”

“Show them you know how to behave yourself.”

My parents didn’t want to hear strange news about their kid’s behavior, any kid, and I wasn’t going to be the first.

As a result, baby love on a first date was pretty stressful. Was I going to be reported for holding hands? Putting my arm around my date’s shoulders?

I didn’t want to find out, so I was a bad date, like a totem pole of decency.

Over an early summer, my flame went out of town with her family. I learned that she went to a movie with someone else. It was crushing news, and came with a soundtrack.

Ooh baby love, my baby love
I need you, oh how I need you
But all you do is treat me bad
Break my heart and leave me sad
Tell me, what did I do wrong
To make you stay away so long

I’d heard the song before, but now it made sense. What did I do wrong, besides identifying with a girl break-up song?

More important, no one did anything wrong, it just felt that way to a kid with first date experience. Where was the happily ever after part at thirteen?

Sounds funny now, though. Sort of.

The Breakthrough Date

One of the kids’ older brother went to the prom. He was a high school sophomore, she was a senior.

She was in the sweet age somewhere between young and old in an early teen’s eyes. She was old enough to drive, and her date wasn’t, but he had his learner’s permit.

Now we knew someone dressed like James Bond who spent the evening with a girl out of everyone’s league. He was a hero. No one wondered why she went to the prom with a sophomore instead of senior. We just hoped she’d stick around until we were sophomores.

But that’s not how things worked out.

By the time that kid was a senior he’d dated a religious girl, if you call driving by her house and honking the horn a date.

He dated a girl who showed up in class with two different colored nostrils and a habit of skipping homework. They were both seniors. On an important homework turn-in day she left class and stayed out longer than a usual toilet break.

A short time later the classes were evacuated after the school received a bomb threat. The girl showed up next to me in the gathering outside.

“Looks like we won’t be handing in the big assignment today, doesn’t it?”

What’s Your Baby Love Story?

Everyone has one.

A hurried first kiss that landed on someone’s nose?

A sweat dripping hand after some hot hand holding?

The strange smell when you put your arm around your date, and you discover it coming from your funky watch band?

Your date rubbing your arm and finding dried fish scales?

Instead of breaking up
Let’s do some kissing and making up
Don’t throw our love away
In my arms, why don’t you stay?

If your arm had a sour smelling watch band, AND fish scales from a summer job at Hallmarks Fisheries in Charleston, Oregon, no one’s sticking around.

But, that’s life. Learning how to overcome things with grace and dignity is the key to maturity.

Remind your once fifteen year old self if you’re feeling a little down on some days.

Don’t throw our love away
Please don’t do me this way
Not happy like I used to be
Loneliness has got the best of me

Share those times with the love of your life, your best friend, or some random blogger.