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DEATH WISH? IT’S JUST A STAGE

Death wish yourself into being a better person?
“If I can’t be who I think I am I’d rather die.”
Is that a wish, or a condition?
I don’t know, but what I do know is ‘the end’ is the end.
Most of the time.

‘Gone But Not Forgotten’ might be the best we’ll get.
That’s better than, “Didn’t go soon enough and I need help forgetting.’
Or there’s this:

After watching a few episodes of The Sopranos I’ve come to the conclusion that leaving lots of debt means someone else will have to pay.
“But Blogger D, how will I repay a debt owed to the mob?”
Big Tony will choke it out of you, kick it out of you, blast it out of you. He gets his ounce of flesh, or pound.
So don’t leave that kind of debt.
Instead, leave a debt of decency, sweetness, understanding; you know, the good stuff.
I’m not arguing about it, but if I was . . .

 

The Working Death Wish

Officer Deer won’t give you a ticket, but they might try to catch a ride – through your windshield.
A working death wish is driving fast on Highway 97 at night.
Any place you see road-kill in daylight means lots of night action.

 

I visited my Dad east of Klamath Falls a few days before he died.
There was nothing to do but wait.
I rented a car and waited the weekend, then sped home Sunday night for work Monday morning.
With all of the commotion, emotion, and horsepower, I flew up the road not worried about deer or police.
Would my daddy keep me safe? That’s what I wanted and that’s what I got.
I thanked him silently the whole way like it was our last talk together since he was quiet the whole weekend.
My old man still has my thanks, more so now that I’m the old man.

 

The Deer Hunter

Anyone who remembers deer hunting with their dad saw a different man than the one they thought they knew.
I remember sliding into the passenger side of the family Ford Pinto and heading for Dean’s Mountain.
It was a hangover Saturday morning after Friday night beers and I was asleep when he saw his deer.
The way father explained it, the deer would have run over the hill if he’d opened his door.
And that’s why he leaned over and rolled my window down, stuck the barrel of the gun across my chest and fired.
Do you know how loud a 30-40 Krag is inside a Pinto?
The sound from the old rifle almost gave me a death wish.

 

Car hunting turned to boat hunting the next year when we launched into Eel Lake without the drain hole plug in back.
We took on water but didn’t sink. Instead we drained it out by cruising the lake.
That night it rained so we laid the seats down and tarped up.
The rain drained into the boat unit it was ankle high. We got up and bailed water in the dark.
At daybreak he got set up in front while I navigated the shoreline for a shot.
A big buck came to the water’s edge for a morning drink, his last.

 

Bringing It Home

The enemy of a death wish is safety awareness, or risk awareness.
If you know someone doing high risk behavior, what do you do?
I’ve got a friend who gets going with what I consider high risk stuff.
I told him if he fucked up and landed in jail I’d leave him there.
Am I that kind of friend? Let’s say I don’t have an abundance of friends.

I told my kid not too long ago:
“There’s a lot of pressure being my age.”
His take was, “What have you got to worry about. You got married, had kids. Now you’re a retired grandpa.”
Is there pressure being sixty-nine?
I put it on myself. Everyday I produce something, do something new, something old.
I follow the olde English rhyme of “Something Olde, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, A Sixpence in your Shoe.” 
No, I’m not a bride, but I like the saying.
The pressure of living today is getting it right with the people who look at you and think, “You ought to know better.’

Better than what?

 

Patrick Mahomes spoke out about his dad, Mahomes Sr.’s, DWI arrest as he gears up for the 2024 Super Bowl.
“He’s doing good. I don’t really want to get into it too much but he’s doing good for whatever the situation is,” the Kansas City Chiefs star said during the Super Bowl Opening Night Monday.
“It’s a family matter so I will just keep it to the family. That’s all I really have to say at this point.”
Mahomes Sr. — who has been incarcerated several times for driving while intoxicated — was arrested for the same offense Saturday night in Tyler, TX.

 

Keep Yourself In Check

What’s it take to live right?
Threats? Promises? Rewards?
I read a piece that said, “To build the biggest building, either work hard putting your building up, or work hard tearing all the other buildings down.”

Be careful about laughing at others and calling names.
Stay on your path, whether it’s writing, painting, dancing, teaching.
Not so much if you’ve got substance abuse issues that are driving you and those you know to despair.
If you can, lend a hand to others. Just remember, once you start getting involved it can be a rough ride.
Strap in for the long haul, for the long and winding road.

 

 

 

About David Gillaspie

I am a writer. This is my blog story day by day.