DECADE ENDS IN SOFT TALK, HARD TRUTHS

 

 

Me: This decade ends the best of times and worst of times.

Them: Did you just make that up, or are you finally going to admit to stealing from Charles Dickens?

Me: Writers don’t steal, they borrow.

Them: Like the time you borrowed a notebook from Payless in Pony Village?

Me: I didn’t borrow a notebook, I stole it and it was a mistake, the worst of times.

Them: So, you’re a thief?

 

New Friends

 

Me: I was making new friends, joining a club, and that was the initiation.

Them: Stealing was an initiation? What kind of club? Juvenile detention club?

Me: It was complicated.

Them: Like a fraternity?

Me: Fifth grade didn’t have a frat house.

Them: How did you get caught?

Me: My mom hung up my coat and asked me where I got the notebook in my pocket.

Them: Where did you get it?

Me: From Payless.

Them: You stole it?

Me: It was part of an unwritten rule in grade school if you wanted to hang out with the cool guys. You had to prove you belonged.

Them: By stealing?

Me: It was seventy-nine cents, and …

Them: You remember the price?

Me: … I didn’t want to take something I’d regret, like a ring, or anything more than a dollar.

 

North Bend Candy

 

Them: Is that the first time you stole?

Me: No, I took a quarter from home once without asking.

Them: That’s hardly a big score.

Me: It was then. I bought twenty-five cents worth of candy, which filled up a small bag. Penny candy was big back then and I knew I couldn’t take the bag in the house, so I hid it outside.

Them: You had your own private candy stash.

Me: The next day it was full ants. I learned a lesson.

Them: Not to steal?

Me: No. More like don’t hide stuff to eat outside or something will eat it before me.

Them: Just like hiding it in the house and someone will find it and eat it?

Me: So, I stole a notebook. No one would eat that.

Them: Except your mom found it. What happened.

Me: She asked me where I got it, since she didn’t buy it for me.

Them: And you told her you stole it?

Me: I told her a friend from school gave it to me.

Them: You told on a friend? Wouldn’t that get you kicked out of the club?

Me: I told her the name of the club leader.

Them: You ratted out the leader?

Me: I figured the boss man would have a better story than me. My mom told my dad and he called the kid’s dad.

Them: This sounds bad.

Me: It was. The dad asked his kid why he gave me a notebook. The kid said he didn’t. The dad started beating him and calling him a liar.

Them: While your dad was on the phone?

Me: He handed it to me to listen. The dad was screaming; the kid was crying and begging him to stop. I started crying and confessed I stole the notebook.

Them: Not exactly what a hardened criminal would do.

Me: I expected my dad to start on me like the other kid’s dad, but he didn’t.

Them: You didn’t get a beating for stealing? How did your parents think you would learn anything?

Me: They took me down to the store to talk to the manager. My dad told him he could do whatever he thought was right, from nothing, to call the police.

Them: Your dad gave you up?

Me: The Payless manager banned me from his store, which was also a ban from Pony Village, so anytime friends went to the mall, I went home.

Them: But you were in fifth grade. How often did anyone go to the mall?

Me: A lot. My school was near the mall, and it was a small town.

Them: You grew up in Coos Bay, right?

Me: Close. North Bend.

Them: Same thing.

Me: Not if you lived there and grew up there.

Them: You stole so you’d be accepted by others, got caught, and learned a lesson without a beating from parents. Am I missing anything?

 

Pay Less, But Pay

 

Me: Later on I learned I shouldn’t be in a car during a robbery.

Them: You rode in a getaway car?

Me: A friend picked up a few cases of soda pop one night after football practice before he dropped me off.

Them: You robbed a store?

Me: I was in the car when they stopped in the back of a store and loaded up. The pop was outside.

Them: What was the story?

Me: Payless in Pony Village.

Them: I’m sensing a theme. You were banned from Payless.

Me: And I didn’t go in.

Them: How did you get caught? Your mom again?

Me: No. Someone told someone else and they named all the names to stay out of trouble.

Them: Did you get in trouble?

Me: I went to juvenile court on my birthday.

Them: Did your dad tell them to throw you in jail like the last time?

 

The Truth To Tell

 

Me: He told them the story I told him. Some of the guys got probation. It would probably be worse today.

Them: What did you learn?

Me: Hang my coat up, and watch which car I got into.

Them: Now you’re a neat guy who takes public transportation?

Me: Smaller carbon footprint when the decade ends.

Them: Are you talking the 70’s, or now?

Me: The decade ends when the decade ends. Do you have a favorite?

Them: They’re all my favorite.