LOVING FEELING: WHO’S GOT IT?

Who’s lost that loving feeling besides the Righteous Brothers?

No one wants to hear that, but what are you gonna do?

Get down on your knees and beg?

Watch the other person take a knee?

It could happen, and it wouldn’t be the first time:

Baby, baby, I’d get down on my knees for you
If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah
We had a love, a love, a love you don’t find everyday
So don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t let it slip away

Would you get down on your knees for them and repeat things over and over?

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Don’t, don’t, don’t let your love slip away?

Is that your plan to bring back that loving feeling?

Maybe start with a little review work before bending a knee.

Love Detective In The House

Who’s a love detective? Some blogger with forty two pages of posts after searching ‘married?’

That would be this blogger and I’m glad to serve.

Let’s start.

Have you noticed the other person going out of their way to do things for you?

If you’ve wondered why they’d bother, you’re on the wrong track.

However, if you accept the things they do for you without your asking, and plan on what you could do for them in return?

Now you’re heading the right direction.

For example, let’s say you met up with friends, but things didn’t turn out the way you expected.

It’s a couple’s night out and you think things are fine. ‘Things are fine,’ you think, just like that.

But there’s an undertow of passive / aggressive going on that you don’t notice. But your partner notices.

It’s a problem when you’re alone together and they realize you’re not as sensitive to their feelings as they thought you’d be.

Complications arise because you’ve been a staunch defender for them before, and they say they don’t need someone defending them since they’re adults and everything.

But this time is different. How are you even supposed to know it’s different?

Just take the other person’s word that it is different and focus on that loving feeling.

They’re not asking for help. What they’re after is understanding. Do you understand? If not, do you need to try to understand?

Answering with, “No,” is risking a righteous loss.

Don’t, Don’t, Don’t Let It Slip Away

The Russian Chekhov is credited with, “Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.”

If it wasn’t Chekhov, I still like it and believe it true.

The same adage applies to love and staying in love. Before you turn the page consider this:

Love is a choice! It’s a choice you live with and filter life through.

Choose love when you’re accused of something you didn’t do; choose love when you did do something you’re accused of.

Before you say, “But David, we don’t all look at life through your rose colored glasses,” the key here is to be accountable to the other person the way you’re accountable to yourself.

Maybe up your game and be More Accountable? It’s not impossible. In fact, it’s part of that loving feeling.

Sharing time together, lots of time together, creates a hierarchy of tasks you do and tasks they do.

You do your part 100% even though you don’t like it 100% of the time.

Bitching and complaining about it is not helpful, neither is ignoring the agreement and hoping no one notices.

They notice more than you’ll ever know, and that’s a good thing. That’s how they do things without you asking, and why should do the same.

Sharing tasks of daily life is part of that loving feeling. It’s done without guilt, without motive, without bitterness, because it needs to be done.

After you agree on the work load, imagine someone else doing it instead of you.

If you can’t see someone else stepping in, you’ve got that loving feeling.

Now pick up your crap and fold the laundry before it wrinkles.

And do it with love. Whohoo, whoa, woe.

So get busy, that floor isn’t going to vacuum itself.