Mask wearing is not pretty. It’s not glamorous or fashionable, and it can take elevated self-esteem down a notch.

But it’s not supposed to be. Besides, aren’t you fabulous no matter what?

Of course you are, so how do those who can’t understand normal thinking fit in with masks?

I pulled into the REI parking lot at Bridgeport Village, a local outdoor mall with a throwback look of old shoppes and vendors.

REI is across the street and packed. I drove the lot waiting for the miracle of the Parking Goddess when someone gets in their car and leaves instead of standing around talking to a new outdoor friend.

“Love your parka, and matching boots? You could go anywhere.”

“Thanks. My wife dresses me.”

“Mine too. Let’s get a latte.”

Then it happened. I parked and headed to the front door, noticing the line to get in for the first time. It went around the corner.

The Costco lot was bigger and just as jammed, but no line to go in. Should I stay or should I go?

Waiting to park, waiting to go in, AND wearing a mask? Oh, the injustice. To make it worse, I didn’t find what I was looking for and left empty handed, but mask wearing wasn’t the problem.

Tip To Mask Wearing Denier: You won’t need to wear a mask the rest of your life; every twinge or pain in your body won’t kick in the mask fear; you won’t need chemo and radiation with your mask.

The worst case scenario with the mask? I parked the car, masked up, and walked toward REI. The ear loop on the mask made my glasses slip. When I adjusted, one ear loop broke.

Now what? I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out another mask I didn’t know was there. For the win.

Call it being prepared, or good luck with a spare mask. I put it on, thinking, ‘that was easy, what’s wrong with people who can’t understand normal thinking?’

Mask Wearing Time? Yes It Is

This is Chuck Norris.

He fought Bruce Lee, influenced Elvis’ karate training, and wears a mask. Who in the badass world doesn’t like Chuck Norris?

Be like Chuck.

This is Van Morrison and Eric Clapton, with Slow Hand fingering an Em chord.

Together they did an anti-mask song. I’ll look for the lyrics.

Magna Carta, Bill of Rights
The constitution, what’s it worth?
You know they’re gonna grind us down, ah
Until it really hurts
Is this a sovereign nation
Or just a police state?
You better look out, people
Before it gets too late

Two out the three documents named have an American origin. But, the guys are not Americans, are they. I’ve got them in England and Ireland without google, so I’ll give them their Magna Carta along with a respectful F-Off.

Instead of looking for a way to focus the light on their aging act, try this: Reverse the spotlight and shine on for the sake of a better tomorrow.

Stay in your lane, fellas. Play that guitar, son. Tell us again what happened at the crossroads with Robert Johnson, Eric. Maybe dish out some credit this time.

Hey Van, tell us what happened on Tuesday and so slow, about going down the old mine with a transistor radio.

To the two of you, a dead fan is not a fan listening to you. If your stance inspires those who yearn for the air of freedom to toss their masks and breath in the covid-19 virus during a pandemic comeback, you’re missing the point.

What will their fans last words be?

Will they cry tears in heaven when they learn Eric Clapton is not God, when they hear David Bowie play a better sax than Van, when Boots Randoph tops them both with his yackety sax?

Does THE LORD Approve Mask Wearing?

This guy has a direct line for an answer. From Oregon Senator Dallas Heard via oregonlive.

“This is His kingdom, not ours,” Heard said during the morning session. “The days of your unchecked assault against our freedoms and His children is over. You have oppressed the free peoples of Oregon.”

“I will stand here for 30 seconds while you decide whether you are fascists, willing to use to the government to force and override my rights,” he said, “or to prove that you are nothing more than bullies and false authority.”

I don’t use this platform to wish ill on others, but I can imagine Eric and Van’s new hit playing in an ICU while he’s getting prepped to be intubated.

This is a man working for the people of Douglas County here in Oregon.

This Douglas County:

In the first eight months of the pandemic, Douglas County reported 623 cases of the virus. They’ve had 635 in the last month alone.

Ignorance, Death, Regret? Or Wear A Mask

Headlines from a Texas news source:

Fort Worth pastor who urged ‘faith over fear’ in the pandemic mourns parents who died of COVID complications 

The pastor of 2nd Mile Church in north Fort Worth, where his parents were members, said he was surprised by the sudden surge in COVID cases in recent weeks in Tarrant County.

This is what he posted earlier for the Christian congregation on Facebook:

“I’m not wearing a mask when around my family like the CDC requests and we are traveling so we’ll take our chances,” Dunn’s Facebook post read. “And to top it off we are huggers so there you go! There will be no social distancing CDC. Faith over fear!!”

I’ll save you time and clicks. It didn’t work out.

“I do feel like the numbers were different in the spring and summer. And my opinion on it was based on the numbers that I saw back then,” Dunn said. “I went seven months and didn’t know one person individually who had it. Now all of a sudden…For some reason there’s been a surge.”

As a person of faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and a sports fan, I appreciate the recruiting element of any church service; as a person of faith, and a bad guitar player, I appreciate the tip jar.

When I read about a more devout person of faith, and they go first person outside their field of expertise, I have doubts about their motives, not their faith. I want to get that out of the way to avoid hellfire.

For some reason this man of the cloth’s parents are both dead, joining the statistical waterfall of old people with weak immune systems getting tagged by the virus. It’s awful, as anyone knows who ever mourned the passing of parents, grandparents, and a step-dad.

URGENT PRAYER NEEDED: Hey everyone, we just received word that my mom has now been taken by ambulance to the hospital because she’s been battling the same symptoms as dad and has had difficulty breathing and as many of you may know my mom has battled congestive heart failure so this adds to the situation. So now both of our parents are going to be in the hospital and I’m sure Mom probably has Covid as well so please please please continue to pray for them. This is unreal!

Defining Unreal Up Close

Death is like a door that opens and closes on its own and we’re on one side, or the other. Sounds like idle pontificating? That’s what I usually think when I read lines like that, and as a blogger chasing traffic, I do better for my readers.

A better unreal.

My big unreal was getting chemo’d and radiated half to death for what I like to call HPV neck cancer. Everyone in the cancer industry calls it HPV neck cancer, too. I didn’t debate their opinion.

I was feeling pretty good, cruising the high road of cancer treatment like I’d heard some do. Now it was me and no problem. From the beginning nurses had warned about ‘The Nadir,’ the accumulated effect of chemo and radiation at the end of treatment that does an Energizer Bunny imitation and keeps going and going and going.

It felt unreal to find myself on this side of things. Going, going, and knew what was next. Gone.

The in-my-face unreal part was seeing my reflection in the mirror turn deathly colors and thinking, ‘it could be worse? I dunno.’ Like the captured general in Gladiator asking for ‘a clean death, a soldier’s death’ execution, I felt mortality at the door waving me in when I closed my eyes.

It was peaceful and calm until my wife and kids stood at the foot of my sick bed and threatened me with some dire consequences while they applied Snap-the-fuck-out-of-it-ology. It’s a medical term.

After my plans for slipping sliding away quietly were thwarted by this surprise intervention for better mental health, I did what Roman General Maximus Decimus Meridius would have done: I laid there and the family drug me out of The Nadir and back to the clinic I thought I was done with to get IV’s of big, clear, bags after black-bagged chemo was over.

In plain words: I TOOK THE DOCTORS’ ADVICE AND USED THE SCIENCE THEY PRESCRIBED. Sorry for yelling, it’s a big room.

Earlier from the now-mourning spiritual guide:

Early in December, Dunn posted a video of himself holding a prayer rally with family, friends and church members outside the hospital where his parents were patients. He also made it clear that he was taking the coronavirus seriously.

“There’s a serious war going on here with this disease,” he said in the video. “I have pastor friends that are also fighting it.”

Like the pastor, Eric Clapton, Van Morrison, and your mom, we’re all susceptible here. You, U, and Ewe.

If you need permission to wear a mask, then, “You have my permission to wear a mask.” Whatever it takes.

People wore masks in cancer treatment before masks were cool. Now everyone. Also found in cancer rooms: imminent death. The kicker is we all face imminent death regardless of covid, cancer, or the push on the subway platform. Or diabetes, heart attach, stroke, the biggies.

The thing is, no one is in a big hurry to get there, and they don’t want your help, my help, or the help of a new voice saying stupid shit.

Wear a mask and step back from the edge, and I will too.

Again. Do it together.