MISUNDERSTOOD MAN GIVES ILLOGICAL INTERVIEW BOOMERPDX STYLE

A misunderstood man, one who knows he’s been misunderstood, often explains how it’s all a big misunderstanding.

That’s the good news. The bad news comes when a man works to elevate his basic misunderstanding to a level of believability.

Hard to imagine? Depends on the audience. Take a look to see the difference.

Me: You seem like a normal person.

Misunderstood Man (MM): Oh yes. I’m a normal man with a capital N and a capital M. All man, that’s who I am.

Me: These have been some trying times for everyone.

MM: Not everyone if you look at things the right way.

Me: But the coronavirus, the jobs, the fires. Just recounting them, and not all of the them, is trying.

MM: Hold it right there. Look, I’m sorry if you are distraught. You should man the hell up and get over it, but I feel for you.

Me: Thank you, that was nice to hear.

MM: I don’t know which part you heard, but start with the China Flu.

Me: I’m talking about covid19.

MM: So am I. What’s the problem, didn’t you hear me?

Me: I did. I heard you repeat racist bullshit, but go on.

MM: See, that’s the problem with people. They hear the truth, but they can’t take the truth.

Me: For a quick update, where was the Spanish Flu’s first victims?

MM: Trying to be tricky? The Spanish Flu came from Spain, like it says.

Misunderstood Man And Masks

Me: How are you doing wearing a mask in public?

MM: A what?

Me: A mask. Do you wear a mask in public?

MM: The only time I wear a mask is Halloween.

Me: So for one day a year you take the virus spread seriously?

MM: Have you seen my costume? It’s a doozy.

Me: Do your friends and family wear masks to help stop the spread?

MM: Like I just said, on Halloween. We love Halloween.

Me: But you’ve heard that masks help mitigate the spread of the virus?

MM: I’ve heard lots of opinions. Like the one that explains the virus germs are too small for masks to stop, so why bother?

Me: If you’ve been around cancer treatment, patients wear masks because their immune system is down and they’re vulnerable to everything. It’s not to cure cancer.

MM: I haven’t.

Me: Haven’t what?

MM: I haven’t been around cancer, so I’d need to take a better look.

Me: I have, and masks are part of deal, like now.

MM: And you believe everything you see on the fake news? If it was real, President Trump would say so.

Misunderstood Man Meets Mr. Trump

Me: Didn’t Mr. Trump recently say he downplayed the seriousness of the virus because he didn’t want to panic people?

MM: As he should. Look, it’s the China Flu, Chine Ah. Like a cold, okay. The real problems are on the southern border, and President Trump is building a wall paid for by Mexico.

Me: Except it’s not . . .

MM: And the looters and rioters and bad guys in Portland. He solved that problem by bringing the Law and Order. The big boys, the hammer, strong guys who know how to do hard things.

Me: One of them walked up to a lady in wheelchair because of a broken foot, and shot her in the other foot.

MM: Yeah, but what was she wearing? What was she doing?

Me: Peacefully protesting in public.

MM: That’s always the excuse they use, then they throw Molotov cocktails and set police cars on fire. Those people are the most dangerous when they get together.

Me: This is the same woman who opened up her property and equipment to save large farm animals in the fire.

MM: Probably a cover to make more destructive plans.

Me: They protest against police brutality. You’ve seen video of police dropping old men, putting the stick on Naval Academy guys, punching people in handcuffs?

MM: That’s their job. It’s not an easy job. That’s how it’s done. Draw a hard line.

Me: Will you vote in November?

MM: Hell, yes. Damn straight I’ll vote.

Me: On a mail-in ballot?

MM: Just like I’ve done forever. Yes, a mail-in ballot.

Me: Are you worried about getting your vote counted?

MM: It’s the mail, so no. I get mail, I send mail that gets where I send it. If the post office was good enough to send out draft notices, then arrest people for not complying, then it’s good enough for me.

Me: Who will you vote for?

MM: I always vote for the best man for the job.

Me: What if the best man for the job sits around watching TV for hours and hours, tweeting and retweeting, and repeating the talking points he hears on Fox News?

MM: What’s wrong with that? He does what I do.

Me: But he’s the President of the United States. What would you do if you were in his shoes?

MM: I wouldn’t change a thing. If I were in his shoes, would I get to keep his wife?

Me: He’s been called a transactional leader, so maybe.

MM: Can you make this happen?

Me: That’s what you’d vote for?

MM: What man wouldn’t? Real men would jump at the chance.

Me: To be president?

MM: Hell yes, president with benefits. Tell me what to do and I’m all over it.

Me: Just like this is over.

MM: Whoa, hold on brother, this is just getting good.

Me: No, no it’s not. Thank you for your time.