TRIBE RULES? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKING RULES

Tribe rules help people get organized. However, rules are a problem some folks can’t overcome.

The ‘Don’t Tell Me What To Do’ tribe comes to mind.

And not to forget the ‘My Rights’ tribe.

What are the rules these two tribes adhere to? It’s complicated.

Start by moving from wherever you live now to the Sun Belt. Yes, I hear the alarm in your voice:

“But Davy, what about the tornadoes and hurricanes and rednecks?”

Oh my.

Look, you can’t change the weather. No one in earth history has changed the weather. Save the cloud seeding challenge.

To embrace your new surrounding, get into storm chasing. Louisiana is fertile ground.

Or move to Georgia for the storms.

“Give the storm plenty of room, make sure you have an escape route and you don’t have to get close, a camera lens can bring a storm right up to you,” says Lipscomb.

Because one mistake could cost a life. Experts says first time storm chasers should never go out on their own.  They need to learn from experienced chasers first. If you are interested in learning more about storm chasing, you can take free classes through Skywarn.org.

Pretty handy link up there, but why all the storm talk? And rules? Okay, I hear you. Calm down.

Storm Rules

Once you move to the Sun Belt you’ll meet the best people on earth. Welcoming and gracious and charming as all get out, they will make you feel right at home. At first you may wonder why you didn’t move earlier in your life.

Then you’ll meet the others, the rednecks, the hicks, the down-southers. They’re easy to spot because they are the same people who live where you came from.

Did you move from Michigan? You traded the ‘Let’s kidnap the governor’ state, for the ‘let’s suppress voting’ state? If that sounds an alarm, don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.

Once you settle into your new place, try and fit in. No one wants to be ‘the new neighbor’ forever.

But try hard not to buy a confederate battle flag for the front yard. New friends may use the Stars and Bars as a feature wall decoration, and offer to help you with your home improvement choices.

Peer pressure may grow, you may eventually do it. Practice before explaining to folks back home how they misunderstood the meaning. Is it a symbol of oppression in the former Slave States of America?

If you have trouble answering, you’ll fit in just fine.

(That link points to a Smithsonian Magazine article with slideshow census maps showing the spread of slavery.)

Storm Chasers’ Tribe Rules Are Different Than Storming The U.S. Capitol Tribe Rules

Once you get comfy with the sunny new neighbors, and more importantly they get more comfortable with you, the redneck curtain begins to part.

It’s a slow reveal.

Some of the fellas are getting together for beers in the backyard? Go along.

Familiar faces mingle with unfamiliar. Voices are raised, cheers to all.

However, some of the unfamiliar faces draw an audience of quiet voices with heads nodding in agreement.

The larger audience all listen hard and nod their heads. You start nodding your head, too, until your inner voice says, “SNAP OUT OF IT.”

Tribe rules don’t come from paunchy old men who pucker their lips and wave their hands like they’re playing an invisible accordion.

The dress code doesn’t include a red hat and orange makeup and a blue sports coat.

Someone wants to show pictures of their ‘tourist trip’ to D.C. on Jan.6.

“That’s me scaling the wall.”

“Here I am breaking the window where the woman was shot and killed.”

“I’m chasing the guard upstairs in this one.”

Who are these people? First of all, they’re not your tribe.

Why?

Because you’re not joining their church, listening politely while they explain how the Republican Party makes America great again. Or an opinion on why masks are an infringement on personal rights, a man’s view on abortion, and the sacred duty of the 2nd Amendment to lock and load and get strapped.

Keep looking, Pilgrim.