DECISION MAKING HELP, BECAUSE WE’RE TOO TIRED

Decision making is a process, a big old boring process.

Not a roll of the dice, but you can still do that.

Even rolling dice is a decision: To roll, or not to roll.

Don’t call me Shakespeare, but you can if you decide to.

See how that works?

Let’s stamp a few decisions into our brain, but let’s do it in reverse so we’ll see it looking out.

Before we start, this isn’t a post to keep you from becoming your parents like the insurance commercial currently running with the old guy schooling the adult kids.

Think of mental health instead of decisions, because decision making can drive you bat-shit.

Let’s start with the big things, the global threats real and imagined, the existential dilemma of it all.

This ought to help:

 An individual future-oriented physical threat – personal death (PD: e.g., “I am troubled by thoughts of my own death”)

Even the biggest of the big things start small, and we’re a small part. All of us, even the biggest personality, strongest bodied, biggest biggie, is a small part.

The big men whose shadows we all live under are still a small part.

Do the Bigs worry about their personal death? Do you? If so, here’s a head’s up: you’re going to die some day, so are they.

Probably not today, though.

Let this be a lesson, if you need one. Knowing that I’m going to die isn’t ruining my day, my week, month, year, or life. And I’ve heard a couple of knocks at the door.

Knock Knock #1

“David, the tests came back for cancer, HPV 16 cancer that started on your tongue and migrated to a lymph node.”

I had to decide to tell my wife at that moment, or do something better. Why not do better? So I did.

“Honey, where’s my suitcase. I’m taking a trip.”

“What? It’s upstairs. Why?”

Knock Knock #2

“We’ll need to do testing to see what’s going on. It ought to work from your wrist, but we’ll shave your scrotum in case it doesn’t.”

“That ought to improve my Speedo profile.”

Playing The Health Card

Heart problems and cancer add up to fear of death, and should. But I don’t share the fear.

If the neck cancer had been from drinking booze and smoking heart darts I’d be frightened half to death.

The other half would have been heart blockage and heart disease.

My good luck was that HPV neck cancer holds its place instead of circulating like a fart on a bus. The broken heart syndrome was caused by a traumatic event, not a lifetime of goo in the veins and arteries.

So there’s that.

We’re all going to die. It’ll be a shock when others hear about. Then life goes on, readers. Here’s how I know:

“Hey kids, do you remember Grandpa? My dad? Was he your favorite Grandpa?”

“Not really. Grandpa Glenn is the one.”

And they’re right.

My Dad died when they were young, just like my Dad’s dad.

My favorite Grandpa growing up, and as a dad myself, was my Mom’s step-dad. If you met my Mom and Grandma, a couple of forces of nature, you’d understand.

Decision Making For The Indecisive

Don’t wait to make decision until you come to a crossroads.

Sometimes waiting to decide which direction to go is too late. Then you can only go one way.

People I’ve met did their own research on the same cancer I had. Smart guys with resources knew how to cure themselves.

When it didn’t work out the way they expected they submitted to the medical/industrial remedies of chemo and radiation.

But no one would take them because the treatment would have hastened their demise sooner than cancer.

2

A person I know was having what looked like a heart attack, so I took action. First I yelled at him and he didn’t fire back. Not good. Then I got his wallet out of his car and told someone to call 911.

I took credit for saving his life after he got out of the hospital.

He was a good guy, still a good guy, but a little emotional down the line. In a surprising move he opted out of our friendship.

Who’s going to save him next time? If not for me, he would have driven home from the gym, taken a nap, and died.

It’s not that uncommon with stubborn people.

So where was this fucker when I felt some heart flutter and ignored it for three days? Where’s Team Dave, Dave? Lol.

Thoughts Of Personal Death During A Pandemic? Not Enough

Who should worry about their personal death during a pandemic more than the deniers, the avoiders, the doubters, the ‘do my own research and say stupid shit’ people?

They may not get sick, but they could transfer the virus. How to convince a know-it-all that wearing a mask curtails the spread?

First, buy a chicken at the store. It can be a whole chicken, or thighs, or wings, or legs. Get the chicken and take care of it. Got to take care of your chicken.

Then heat the oven to 350 and slide the bird in. If it’s a convection oven, check in twenty minutes. Do the same for non-convection. (It doesn’t matter either way, I just wanted to write ‘convection’ a few times.)

Put on a pair of glasses and open the oven. Are the glasses steamed? Every. Time. Now imagine the steam is full of COVID. If that was the case you’d take that chicken out and bury it in the backyard.

Convince me otherwise.

If you’re a vegetarian covid denier, boil a pot water, put on glasses, and lean in. Your glasses are steamed, and it’s not a question of why since you can see the stream come out of the boiling pot.

It’s water vapor with an accent of chicken in one, or just vapor in the other. You’ve seen the mask evidence on a cold day. If not, here it is from a ‘moisture expert.’

Decision Making: Do It While You’re Still Healthy And Alive

Here’s the bad news: I you wait too long, your loved ones may decide you’re unreliable to make coherent decisions and you’ll lose your power.

What happens after you’re declared ‘incompetent?’

No power of attorney for you, no free will, just a dazed life because the doctor prescribed the ‘dazed life’ meds after your last outburst.

How do you want to be remembered and forgotten: A sassy bon vivant, or the twitchy napper in the corner?

Plan accordingly, my dears.