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COVID19 DEATHS NOT THE NORM TO ENDURE

Covid19 deaths will never be normal for anyone who has been with loved ones in their final moments. My mother-in-law had a massive stroke the doctors called an unsurvivable brain bleed. It even sounds bad. For two days she responded to conversation with closed eyes and a hand squeeze for yes or no. Her last […]

HOMESTRETCH AFTER HITTING THE FINAL CURVE HARD

Sports analogies don’t always work the way they’re supposed to work, but comparing a life to a race always does the trick. From the starting line, to the backstretch, to the final curve going down to the wire, it all sounds like a life well lived. The closer we are to the race, the life, […]

BROTHER CHECK IN: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY

A Facebook friend posted about a brother check, or check-in. Apparently he’s got lots of brothers, or he was using the inclusive ‘brother’ to remind everyone to check in with their loved ones during the corona virus pandemic. If you have a brother, a sister, or anyone you care about, what do you want to […]

AGING GRACEFULLY? WHAT ARE THE OTHER OPTIONS

Freud’s Couch Aging gracefully can be a goal. If nothing else, it’s a check-in moment you do for yourself. Some check-in from the couch, some from the bench in a weight room, some not at all. At least that’s what they say. Ask someone their age. If they make a big show out of remembering […]

CAREGIVING EXCERPT FROM WORK IN PROGRESS

My caregiving days ended the morning I came downstairs and found Ken laying still in his hospital bed. Very still. I was suspicious. A large red circle nearly two feet in diameter stained the bedspread drawn up to his chin. What. The. F?

MOURNING PERIOD: WHO SETS THE CLOCK

Loss affects everyone; response to loss varies. A death in the family can be a devastating event, and it can be a release. Sudden death is the stunner. One moment the lights are on, the next it’s all dark. No good bye, no so long, no nothing, just an empty place where someone used to […]

LIFE STAGES WITH ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS

    Instead of death and dying, use the same grief progression for living and life stages. It fits just as well, after all no one said life was easy. Sometimes living is a downer until we find something to live for.   Life stages go beyond the chronographic scale, like the Terrible Twenties, the […]

SELF MYTHOLOGY: DEATH, DYING, PAT CONROY’S DAD

  What are the best stories told but the ones we tell about ourselves. From Greek gods to Steinbeck sharecroppers we can be whoever we like when we tell our own stories.   Of course the best self mythology comes from the biggest liars and you can’t believe a word they say, still we need […]

CANCER STORIES: FEEDING PUBLIC FEAR AND PRIVATE WOE

Things you’ll never know until you get cancer, any cancer:   You’ll either be an object of sympathy, or an antenna of sympathy. Or both.   “Keep up the fight,” or, “You’re a fighter,” or “You look like you’ve got this thing whipped.”   That’s what I heard after running Hood To Coast at 49 […]

CIGARETTE SMOKE ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM? DON’T DO IT

    Tobacco and cigarette smoke, the stuff of dreams and nightmares.   The dream part comes first. Light a stick and enjoy. All you’ve got to do is breath in, breath out, and watch the cigarette smoke curl into shapes. Later comes the nightmare part, the regret, the tubes, the hospital smell, the faces […]