WORKOUT SWEAT IN THREE DRIPS AND DROPS

You know you’ve got it going when workout sweat starts bubbling up.

Not flop sweat, nervous sweat, or anxiety sweat, but the sort of sweat you want and need to prove something to yourself.

Workout sweat connects you to every athlete, every champion, every strong person you’ve ever heard of. They got there with sweat.

That’s why you know their names. We relate to them by joining in the effort to keep moving.

Workout Sweat #1: Stationary bicycle, or treadmill

This one takes a while to develop. Hop on, start slow, then increase the pace.

One trick on the bike is matching time to calories.

Watch the clock on the bike and the calorie counter and try to hit 100 calories burned in ten minutes.

It feels like a race even though you’re not going anywhere.

Since it’s only ten minutes, you can do it. You may not hit the calorie marker, but you’ll set the bar for the next attempt.

If you’re hitting the mark easily, stretch it out to two hundred calories in twenty minutes.

You don’t need a trainer easing you through the hard parts with, “You can do it. You’re looking good. Are you as surprised as I am with these results?”

Would a gym rat help by cheering with, “YEAH, BUDDY, YOU CAN DO IT. LET’S GO FOR IT. IT’S ALL YOU, ALL YOU, ALL YOU. PUSH IT, BRO, PUSH IT HARD.”

Instead, it’s just you in a quiet moment of competition with yourself. Can you hit 100 calories in 10 minutes? Do you really want to? See the sloppy mess of a man reading the paper on the recumbent bike? He could probably do it, so why not you?

A Slow Drip

Be prepared to feel a warmth, an overall warmth, followed by a trickle on your forehead.

The forehead sweat collects in your eyebrows before dripping into your eyes for a nice salty pain.

Then you’ll feel something running down your back and tickle.

By eight minutes you’ll know if you need to stand on the pedals or stay in the saddle. Go ahead and stand on the pedals and dial up the resistance.

At ten minutes you’ll have a little color in your face and make the decision to go longer, or not.

Chances are good that you won’t hit one hundred calories the first time, so ride until you get to 100. After that, it turns into a tactical effort.

Add more resistance at the start and plan to stand on the pedals sooner.

What you’re getting in return is cardio sweat.

Weightlifting Workout Sweat

This variety of sweat takes longer than cardio sweat since it comes from hitting specific muscle groups.

You may be thinking of the grunting and groaning gyms are famous for, but that’s not what we’re doing.

Instead of maxing out and sounding like you’re giving birth to a barbell, go for a manageable weight. Set five different lifts for chest and triceps, or back and biceps, and cycle through them with ten reps with a short rest in between.

After three sets you’ll feel the pump, the glow, and the internal muscle sweat popping out all over. This is a slow body workout sweat that emerges just in time to hop in your car and go home.

Bring a towel, lifter.

Sauna Sweat Central

The sauna is a full-bore sweat box. In some gyms, access is through the locker room.

Be careful in there.

The sauna creates a quick, full body sweat. That’s what happens when you step into a room with a 180 degree temperature. It may feel claustrophobic at first and hard to breath. Then your hair feels like it might catch on fire.

This is normal.

Start slow. When the heat feel slightly more unbearable, step out and take a cold shower. Ten minutes in there is enough in the beginning.

After ten minutes you ought to be sweating enough to look like you’ve been in the pool. Don’t get in the pool, though, until you cool down in the shower.

To test workout sweat, cool off until you’re not perspiring like a race horse in the home stretch.

Put your gear on and ride the bike, then cool off and lift.

At each stage you’ll notice how long it takes to summon up the sort of sweat you got in the sauna. The difference is how you feel. On the bike, it rides easier. The weights lift smoother.

In other words, you are fully charged, just like all of your sports heroes driving for the win, the score, the final bucket.

Are you a champion? Yes, a big sweaty champ.