ANSWERING QUESTIONS FROM KIDS

Answering questions starts early for parents.

Before they can talk, baby asks questions.

They are the same questions informed parents ask, beginning with:

Are we ready?

In the true sense of ‘Ready Or Not’ baby shows up in a hurry.

Their question from the the time of their first breath:

“Are you ready?”

It’s the biggie, the question asked every day the rest of your life.

Based on average, the wife and I got married at age thirty.

She was twenty-nine, I was thirty-one.

We’d both been slightly engaged to others who eventually found their way to the altar a few times.

Our special day was blessed by a cleansing rain, an Oregon rain.

It was an outdoor wedding in a beautiful setting. (Hey, Mark.)

On our day:

The air samples also turned up .075 picocuries per cubic meter of ruthenium 103, .075 picocuries of cesium 134, .144 picocuries of cesium 137 and .017 picocuries of barium 140, officials said.

‘While these readings indicate the continuing presence of material from the Chernobyl accident over the Northwest, there is no reason for health concern,’ Gebbie said.

‘We continue to advise against collecting and using rainwater for drinking purposes,’ she said, adding, ‘We do expect to see some slight trace of these materials in milk next week.’

One of us has mentioned it too many times for comfort over the ensuing years.

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash had nothing on us.

We got married in a fever
Hotter than a pepper sprout

Answering Questions From The Preacher

I said, “I do.”

She said, “I do”

So we did.

What the man didn’t ask, and they never do, is whether or not we would create a caring home for any children we might bring into it.

It’s an easy enough to answer when there are no consequences at hand, no evidence, before kids.

I heard myself say I would.

I looked at her and saw she would.

So we did.

Would anyone feel more compelled to live up to their marriage vows with Clint as a reminder?

Imagine the divorce rate for cheaters if they had someone like to answer to.

Since our’s wasn’t a Catholic ceremony, Reverend Clint will do.

Who is your favorite hardcore preacher? Do they keep your marriage together?

Click this link to see the lies men tell their wives.

Answering questions the right way is the only way.

Anticipate Questions

From a recent post:

An Oregon family is what you can only do in Oregon? I believe it.

But, dream Oregon first.

That’s how you make Oregon history.

What’s your dream?

My dream was answering kid questions in a way that would set them on the proper course in life.

I take credit that they’ve grown up to be curious, questioning, adults.

They got that way because I answered their questions.

The heads-up came from a dad with a kid on my second grade soccer team:

“If you don’t answer kids’ questions, they’ll make up their own, or ask someone else with a worse answer than you’d ever give.” (Thanks, Jack.)

Not only answering my kids’ questions, I created situations they had to answer to.

The lasting one was how daddy did a twenty pound weight loss overnight.

The answer still irks them.

Me: Hey. Hey, come in here.

Kid: What?

Me: I want you to see something.

Kid: Tell me.

Me: Come back and take a look.

Kid: Okay. Woo, you’re standing on a scale. My dad knows how to weigh himself. I’m so proud.

Me: What else do you see.

Kid: You’re fat.

Me: Tomorrow I’ll be twenty pounds lighter.

Kid: No you won’t.

Me: Twenty dollars says I will.

The Next Morning

Me: Hey. Hey, come in here.

Kid: You didn’t lose twenty pounds.

Me: Take look. What’s it say?

Kid: You lost twenty pounds.

Me: Overnight.

Kid: How?

Me: Look at the scale. It says I lost twenty pounds. You see it. Get your money. Or you can work it off. I’ve got a few chores for you.

Kid: You cheated.

Me: Are you calling me a cheater? Either prove it, or pay up.

The kid left and I stepped off the scale, releasing the towel on the rack behind me that I’d been secretly pulling down on.

The trick was placing the scale in front of the towel rack and facing outward.

If you try this, make sure the rack is strong enough for the pull.

It’s a trick not just for fooling kids; amaze your friends, too.

The kid came back.

Kid: Get back on the scale. No way you lost twenty pounds.

Me: Figure it out, smart guy.

Kid: No one could do that.

Me: Except your daddy.

Kid: No one.

Me: Calling me a ‘no one?’

Kid: I’m not paying.

Me: That’s not how it works. You could get knee-capped.

Kid: What? I’m telling Mom.

Me: Okay, hold on. Let’s not get carried away. I pulled down on the towel behind me. Like this.

Kid: What kind of Dad cheats his kids?

Me: The kind that wants kids to be smart enough to question things. And you passed. A little whiny, but you passed.

Answering questions and posing questions that need answering?

That’s how to have family fun that never ends.

Do the twenty pound test on someone and tell me how it goes.

Take a defensive stance in case an adult takes it the wrong way and swings a karate kick your way.