PERSONAL HEALTH ALERT: THE TALK, MORE OF A REMINDER

WebMD Asks: “What Happens When You Stop Having Sex?”

For early personal health, the talk about sex for baby boomers usually happened in junior high.

If it didn’t come from a parent, it came from health class, Mr. Peasley’s health class.

There’s nothing like a strict PE teacher talking about sex in a gender segregated classroom.

Was it funny? No, it was hilarious, especially when he asked the class to submit anonymous questions for him to answer.

Now that we’re all grown up personal health takes a different tone.

Back then we learned from our peers, the ones with older brothers in particular.

If you had an older brother, old enough to drive, you learned things.

You learned to drive by your girl’s house and honk the horn from the street near her bedroom window.

Why? Just to let her know you care. Or a warning to her parents.

You also learned that a loser with his own car and no curfew was who the babes were drawn to.

It’s hard to take a walk on the wild side in your dad’s company car.

So let’s get this out of the way. Personal health and sexual health in junior high had a lot of peer advice.

Making it through those days was a bigger challenge than today. Why?

8th graders in ’69 learned all about it in health class.

Personal Health For Aging Boomers

Old people have sex? OMG, cover your ears, eyes, and run.

But, if you’re sticking around, good call.

I’ve seen articles on Incels, the involuntary celibate people.

Today’s incels are almost entirely men and boys who pollute their online forums with posts blaming women for their sexless lives. 

Blaming women for anything will keep you in the ‘Incel’ lane for good, buddy.

Or, you’ll find yourself with women who blame themselves and do anything to ease the burden.

Even these women dump men for being stupid when they keep complaining about their dating life.

“Hey, I’m right here you moron.”

Alone again, naturally, the fellas fall back to the basics. The image of rubbing compound and shellac sums up their lonely weekends of complaining about no date.

And they blame women?

What are the chances these people mature into companions and partners for anybody?

This is a possible outcome from WebMD:

Research says people who have sex once a month or less get heart disease more often than those who have it twice a week or so. Part of the reason could be that you get a bit more exercise and are less likely to be anxious or depressed. But it could also be that if you have more sex, you’re physically and mentally healthier in the first place.

Spice Up Your Love Life

If you have a sexual condition, get it looked at.

It’s sure to be embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as the revealing news of other men with ‘male problems.’

You’re not alone, sailor.

From bumps to bends to ‘what is wrong with you,’ be sure and bring your A-Game on a date, if you have one.

They don’t want to hear about your problems too early, so pipe down if you want a second date, or a third.

But, you don’t pipe down because dating interferes with your whine time about being sooooo lonely.

Boomers know lonely better than anyone. From grandparents to parents to partners, no one passes on time. Those left behind have to figure out a new life.

Sex typically burns about 5 calories a minute. That’s about equal to a brisk walk. And you use a bit more oxygen too — about the same as digging in the garden or walking down the stairs. 

That may not seem like much, but it starts to add up over the long term. And because sex can improve your mental health, you might be more likely to do other types of exercise like the neighborhood kickball team, hiking, or housework.

Will that new life include footy ball, wandering aimlessly, and picking up after no one?

It will if you talk about sex like it’s digging a hole.

No one wants you near that garden.

The Near Future Of Personal Health And Sex

More from WebMD:

Weekly sex seems to boost your immune system compared to those who have it less often. Part of the reason may be that it raises levels of a germ-fighting substance called immunoglobulin A, or IgA. But more is not always better here. People who had sex more than twice a week had lower levels of IgA than those who had no sex.

Things get confusing when numbers come into play.

The reasons aren’t exactly clear, but in at least one study, men who ejaculated less than seven times a month were more likely to get prostate cancer compared to those who did it at least 21 times a month. 

Twice a week vs 21 times a month?

What if lonely guy isn’t in ‘the mood?’

Then get in ‘the mood.’

Play Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

Meat Loaf can find a date on a cold and lonely night, but you can’t?

For the record, long ago and far away, when it was so much better than it is today, is a myth.

For the sake of your prostate, don’t sleep on it.

Instead, shower up, wear clean clothes, be a good listener, and crack that beer.

Hey Siri, play Desperado.

It may seem odd, but “use it or lose it” may apply here. For women at menopause, vaginal tissue can get thin, shrink, and dry out without regular intercourse. That can make sex painful and weaken your desire. And some research says men who have sex less than once a week are twice as likely to have erectile dysfunction (ED) as those who have it weekly.

Take it from Joni Mitchell. You don’t want to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

Do you? Try to hold on, boomer.