Google

Why Portland Baby Boomer Dating Needs Anthony Weiner

via businessinsider.com

via businessinsider.com

1. He’s got the public face for Portland’s diverse population.

Will an Oregonian ever show up and offer Tony a banana?

If that happens, he’s ready. He knows how to handle the beautiful people, and everyone else.

via ivillage.com

via ivillage.com

2. On his first Portland date, Mr. Weiner ought to cruise the food carts.

He’s from NY, born in Brooklyn. The original food carts were hotdog wagons.

Come on, Tony, swallow your Thai burrito.

via salon.com

via salon.com

3. As ground breaking as Mr. Weiner’s selfies were, he’s not the first in Portland to go nude dude.

Greg Oden was here and did the same thing.

How do you One-Up that? Don’t start small.

via hollywoodgossip.com

via hollywoodgossip.com

4. Ken Kesey said “Never Give A Inch” in Sometimes A Great Notion. Mr. Weiner agrees

Portland isn’t NYC, but the same rules apply. Be a good listener.

We know a picture is worth a thousand words, but bring it down.

via livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com

via livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com

5. If Mr. Weiner likes the NY subway, he’ll love Portland’s MAX.

Questions for NW Boomer’s newest Baby Boomer dating candidate:

Will you use babyboomerpeoplemeet.com, or babyboomerssocialclub.com? Just remember your dancing shoes, these boomer ladies love to dance.

Portlanddancing.com will keep your dance card filled on their First Friday Dance. Do you know how to dance? Can you swing it? You’re not one of those 6’5″ who can’t get out of their own way, are you?

Mr. Weiner was born in 1964, Baby Boomers’ last year to make the cut. He may need something like over40andsingle.com to get started.

Tony, is your audience demographic from 48-66, or do you go younger? Either way, Portland is your kind of place.

In the words of the great Ladies Man Ben Franklin, “Getting older isn’t a problem. Older women aren’t that much older, and there’s a lot more younger women.”

Come live in Portland, Mr. Weiner. Our ladies need a big man in the middle as much as the Portland Trail Blazers.

Just bring your ‘A’ game and leave the camera behind. Why run for Mayor of New York when you could be the King Of Portland Baby Boomer Dating.

Great names have risen from these pages. General David Patraeus, John McAfee, and Vladimir Putin all would improve the plight of Portland dating.

Join them, Tony. Help keep Portland weird.

If you decide you need to step your game up, take the first step.

 

 

About David Gillaspie
%d bloggers like this: